I was trying to come up with a clever title for this post to indicate that the special celebrity guest on this episode was Sarah Jessica Parker, but this thing's super late, it's been a long weekend and I have other things to do, so there isn't one. SJP and her horse face will be joining us for the night.
Now, you might think, based on that nasty little comment, that I don't like SJP. You would be wrong--I loved her on Square Pegs, I loved her on Sex and the City and I even liked her in films like Miami Rhapsody (featuring a shirtless scene with Jeremy Piven; you can thank me later, girls) and The Family Stone. I even really dig her fashion sense (not so much Carrie Bradshaw's, but hers). It does not take away from the fact that the woman has a long face, much like Mr. Ed. She's still adorable, in her way.
Anyhoo, as you might imagine, most of the designers develop accute cases of the vapors when Ms. Thang shows up at Parsons, as most are either female or gay. (No comment from Kevin that I noted). Chris is almost as excited as Ricky, who is in tears almost immediately, and throughout most of his interviews in the episode. I suspect Ricky tears up at a good text message. He's just a trifle too sensitive. And this is from the girl who has been known to cry at dog food commercials.
This is one of the always amusing and highly stressful team challenges, so I was excited. The designers all had a dossier (it's like they're on Alias!) and 30 minutes to sketch design ideas for SJP's Bitten clothing line's Fall/Winter collection. The best part is since the mantra of this line is fashion should be afforable to everyone and thus, no piece is above $20 retail, they can spend no more than $15 in materials to produce their 2 pieces, which would not exceed $40 retail, dig? They all look horrified. I chuckle. This is primarily due to the fact that I have purchased items from this line, and a couple have certainly not been of the highest quality. I do have one skirt that will make it to next summer and I love my hooded robe...but the nightgown I bought? The strap broke for no apparent reason. Oh yeah...it's cheap.
So, all the designers get to present their ideas to SJP, and of the fourteen, she has to pick seven to be made for the runway. Then, those selected get to pick their partner in an order drawn at random. Most of the pairings were uneventful, save for two.
First, there are Steven and Marion, who are both very quiet, sweet guys. I kept thinking to myself that they are just to sweet for the dog-eat-dog world of fashion (like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous saying, "You're too sweet for rock n' roll". God, I love that movie!!). They are having both fabric issues and time issues, as far as completing the garment. More on that in a sec.
Then there are Elisa and Sweet P. You will recall that Elisa is insane. However, she is not without talent. It is her sketch that got picked of the two, and her idea is for a "polymorphic dress with a cape." Much like my new best gal Sweet P, I am not sure what polymorphic means, but I go along. I do so even when Elisa marks a spot in the fabric where she wants to cut by using spit. Yes, spit. She wants to "imbibe it with energy and essence." Oh, sweet Lord.
Oh yeah, and the hair twins, Christian and Carmen, are a team. And they're lousy with entitlement, as usual.
After getting their models thru the Tresemme hair salon, the Loreal Makeup room and using the bluefly.com accessory wall (I'm sorry, I just love how effortlessly Tim pulls off all of that product placement each week!), it's off to the runway.
Kit & Chris--They did a black top with brown knit capris. And the model has a beret on her head. Boring!
Elisa & Sweet P--The cape and blue "polymorphic" dress (which apparently means it can be worn multiple ways...wait; like Units?) are actually really cool! It's super short (very in) with bell sleeves and kind of a scarf almost wound around the neckline that's built into the dress. I know this is not proper terminology, and EJ is dissapointed. Sorry, man.
Rami & Jillian--A cinched, belted button-down top (almost like a trenchcoat) with a capri pant. Sharp.
Steve & Marion--Oh, dear. It's a sweater dress, which is totally in right now, but the fabric is, as Heidi later points out, growing as we watch. It's a dull brown color and it's got a ton of fringe along the hem with a short, rolled sleeve. It makes me want to sing "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora. The belt they've thrown around it helps only slightly.
Victorya & Kevin--It's a cool A-line dress, which is key, since this cut flatters almost every woman's figure. It also has pockets! Over the dress is a cute little plaid vest, and there's a bow tie detail on the shoulder.
Hair Twins--An aqua knit turtleneck dress that is so snug the size zero model looks pudgy. It is topped with a black and grey striped (like, racing striped) crewneck zippered jacket. Blecch!
Ricky & Jack--A red dress with a rouched scoop neck which I think is super cute.
Who gets called out? The hair twins--yay! He's amazed to find out he's one of the lowest scores. This little pissant does not take criticism well, unless that's just his schtick, which I'm not entirely sure it isn't. He knows how to get camera time. Victorya and Kevin, which SJP especially likes since it fits in with the rest of the collection-- a key point that I don't think they all really followed, despite what their sketches may have promised, Christian! Marion and Steve (still humming over here...) and Elisa and Sweet P. It comes down to Elisa's design versus Victorya's and it's close, but Vic wins, and her outfit will be sold at Steve & Barry's nationwide as part of the Bitten collection. I'm totally going to check it out this week!
It is between Marion and Christian (who, by the way, my husband totally thought was a girl when he happened to look at the show for five seconds), the designers of the two worst outifts, as to who's leaving. And again, it's between bitchy and boring, so I knew Marion was a goner immediately. Besides, Christian has a hair twin. See ya next week!