I don't know that I've ever heard the words above uttered on Project Runway before, but there they were. And our very buff friend Jack was right. This runway show was about the sloppiest this show's ever seen, at least to my very untrained eye.
The reason was that this challenge was even more difficult than making clothing for normal size people, as they had to do last season (Oh, Jeffery and Angela's mother, how I don't miss you!) This time around, in a first for the show, the designers had to make camera-ready menswear for one Tiki Barber, former New York Giants running back, current Today Show contributor, and his freakishly large neck and big butt. Exactly one person knew who Tiki was...any guesses? Of course, it was straight Kevin and his weird triangular facial hair. Seriously, he looks like Joey Fatone just ate Chris Kirkpatrick or something. What is the deal? But I digress. Steven has his "gay guys don't like football" quip all ready, "All I know is that football is the one time on TV where spandex is acceptable." (btw, my cousin told me she met him at a party, and he is just that sweet!)
Jack and his remarkable pecs seem to be helping everyone with patterns, which is evidently okay, since, aside from some random grousing about it by Rami, we don't hear anything on the subject later. He also carries Christian into the workroom twice--once in a messenger bag and once on his back. You think I'm kidding. They look like Kanga and Roo in the Hundred Acre Wood. I don't know.
About the only thing we hear from crazy Elisa this week is how shy she is around the hot male models, about which I am a little surprised. I'd think such a free-spirited person would be fine with half-naked men traipsing around the work room, but I may be projecting a bit. She tells us that her boyfriend is the "only male she chooses to touch." Whatever, crazy. This was a freebie and you missed out!
So, we're back to a bazillion outfits on the runway, and you'll all be bored, so let's just hit the highs and lows:
Kit, Kevin and Jack get cited as the best. I really liked Kit's navy fleece jacket (thanks for asking about the fabric, Michael Kors) with a khaki pant and checked shirt. The judges did too, but it was edged out for the win by Jack's dark pin-striped pant with a light colored pin-striped shirt. It was made well enough, but there were too many stripes for me. Kevin's outfit consisted of dark pants and vest with a purple shirt and coordinating pocket square and tie. When Heidi told him he was in, he totally thought he won when he'd basically come in third, which was funny. Hee!
Now, the bad this time was really bad. Like, I could have done better and I can barely sew a button. Sweet P made pants, a tie (her best piece) and a shirt that, as she put it, "looks like it was made by a kindergartener". The thing was huge and the collar was, as the kids might say, jacked-up. She was saved from certain elimination by Ricky's poorly constructed, boring black suit that was held together by safety pins and, worst of all, Carmen's disaster of a cropped (huh?) Members Only looking jacket and pants that were fit for, as Michael put it, "a Boogie Nights star". Oh, also, she ran out of time to make a shirt, so she draped fabric around her poor model's neck and tucked it into the jacket. Zoiks! I felt bad for her, actually. Ricky did save all his tears for the end of the episode, though, when he was spared at Carmen's expense. I can only hope, now that his hair twin is gone, Christian and his annoying pomposity and mad sewing skillz won't be long for this show. Aufwierdersen!