Team Mellow & Team Fierce

I always say I don't really care who wins The Amazing Race, but, invariably, I find myself either pouting or jumping up and down with glee as the winning team hits the mat. Tonight, I was thrilled that TK and Rachel came away with the win. It seemed like Ron and Chris had the thing sown up, and TK looked like he was about to jump out of his skin in that last cab, but ultimately, Rachel's resolve to stay calm paid off. I really, really have to remember that and apply it to my own life. I mean, how funny was it when Chris was standing at that last roadblock, mumbling, "The freakin' chicken was in freakin' Burkina Faso, then the freakin' Netherlands..." It was the most animated that girl was on the whole race.

I will begrudgingly give her dad kudos for his improved behavior toward his daughter, but on the mat did he actually say that "for once, I finally mean it when I say I love you"? I mean, I didn't rewind the DVR, so maybe I'm misquoting, but that's just piss poor, even if my quote is just a little right. Gee thanks, DAD. This poor girl has clearly struggled for this man's approval quite literally her entire life, and that's just crazy. Good luck to them.

And Nick and Don? Well, once they started out the leg by leaving the bag of supplies at the store, I had a feeling they were doomed. I had to chuckle though, every time they'd get to another destination and Don would bellow, "Come on, Nick!", as he was so clearly exasperated with his grandson for misreading the clue. And he didn't mince words, as is the usual with my little Rudy 2.0. I believe he's what they called "colorful" back in the day. They finished a distant third, but they were proud just to complete the race, and I can't say I blame them.

And, then there was my favorite part of each Race finale...all the other teams, many long since forgotten by yours truly, standing at the finish line to welcome the winners and runners-up. Hi, annoying best friends out first! Howdy, lesbian ministers! What's up, Azaria and Hendekea, hope you're not still bitter! Oh, and there's Kent and Vixen, she with her long pink hair blowing in the Alaskan breeze, while he practices his fey little waving and clapping from side to side as TK and Rachel arrive. Oh, Vixen, wake up and smell the pancake makeup already!



OK, fine, Project Runway, ya got me. I don't completely hate Christian anymore. He's annoying and has a massive sense of entitlement, but he is, after all, 21-years-old. Bottom line, the kid has some talent and is very proficient at both design and garment construction. It would seem a foregone conclusion that he and his "ferosh" (short for "ferocious") persona will be showing at Bryant Park.

This was a stressful episode of PR, as the eight remaining designers would have to team up once again, this time to design an avant garde piece based on the outrageous hairstyles the models displayed at the start of the challenge.

We saw a pretty big diva come out in Rami, as he was just crappy to his teammate Sweet P. It was to the point where she reported that he was "letting her do" the second half of the challenge, which was to design a ready-to-wear counterpart to their original concept. Thanks, King Rami. In the end, she got her revenge...her piece, a gunmetal gray, off-the-shoulder dress, was much more warmly received by the judges than Rami's umpteenth exercise in draping.

Kit & Ricky designed a hoop skirt with an apron...which kind of looked like something Sofia Coppola turned down for Marie Antoinette. And the ready-to-wear dress that Ricky made was super-cheap looking.

The there was Team Stressball, aka Jillian and Victorya. These two women are both such perfectionists, it's painful to watch them race to meet a deadline. They pulled off a dazzling look, which consisted of a stunning trenchcoat with a ruffled bottom half, over a gorgeous blouse and pant combo. They also made a bit of a throwaway ready-to-wear dress, but it at least coordinated with the avant garde look, unlike the two bottom teams.

But you had to hand it to Chris & Christian, who designed a humdinger of a silk organza gown, which can only be compared to a layer cake. It was complemented by the ready-to-wear outfit, which was a ruffled, sleeveless blouse and pencil skirt. They really won by a mile.

Even though the judges seemed disappointed in Rami, they allowed Ricky, who has never wowed them, skate through AGAIN, while Kit got tossed for her design coupled with bad direction as team leader. And just when I was getting to really like her, too. Well, in the words of Tim Gunn, carry on!

Idol is Back!

It's here, it's here! The show that will save American television from ruin! Yes, folks, that guiltiest of pleasures, American Idol, returned to our parched and dusty airwaves last night with a whole new season. I already feel like there's something brighter and shinier about the show. Maybe it was the way Simon was genuinely nice to that overweight girl who plays football and has a sick mother? Maybe it was the way they actually showed more than one contestant make it through to Hollywood? Oh I know--it was the way in which Paula seemed lucid for most of the 2-hour premiere. Whatever it was, Don's got it all covered, and then some, over at spunkybean! Check it out! (you also have to read EJ's Celebrity Apprentice wrap up. Bring a lunch, read 'em both; they're that good.)

And since I'm way late on The Amazing Race, let me just say that I am over the moon that Nate and Butt-Chin were eliminated, on her birthday, and, it would appear, as a direct result of their bickering and her fuming over TK and Rachel. If she would have just focused on herself, my guess is they would have lived to race another day. As it is, I will be happy for anyone who wins this. Yes, even Ron, who seems to have been learning an ongoing lesson and truly strengthening his relationship with his daughter during the race. I guess we'll see on Sunday. The big question now is, when does the next Race start?

That was a Relief!

Well, even though I didn't actually see it happen, and therefore don't believe it completely, I understand that my faves, TK and Rachel, were saved from certain elimination last night on The Amazing Race by the second and final non-elimination leg of the race. This almost never happens to a team I'm rooting for, so that is great news to me. Where was I, you may ask? (You probably didn't ask, but I tend to overshare). Cleaning up and comforting my one-year-old, who puked his entire dinner up in his crib. Poor little guy!

I guess having two stops from India to Japan was what really did them in, and I really hate when one slip that's non-challenge related (though you could certainly argue that getting the best flight is one more challenge on each leg) costs someone the game. Of course, I would be singing a completely different tune if this were Nate and Butt-Chin, who tried desperately to win me over with a Borat reference ("King in the castle!"), to no avail. But, alas, there they were, all happy skippy in first place...until Jen thought Nate wasn't paying enough attention to her and...BAM! Another second place finish! I hope that's their entire story arc--never finishing first, ever.

Ron and Chris did a solid job this leg, but the man shouldn't be congratulated just for not berating his daughter. It's hardly something to boast about. And Don and Nick, AKA Grandpa Crusty and his Bitch (Don's word, not mine) benefitted immensely from TK and Rachel's bad luck, which, again, since they're my other favorite, is fine with me. I assume we have one more elimination until the race for the finish line.

I was also subjected to part of American Gladiators last night, which my husband tried to convince me means he does actually like sports. Mind you, he couldn't tell you the name of a current NFL quarterback or an MLB pitcher, but he likes sports, based on his love of this show and the late, lamented Battlebots, which had remote-controlled robots "fighting" each other. Sure you do, honey. Ah, well. Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali get to read stiff scripted "banter" with the contestants and the Gladiators also have horrible dialogue to spew before (and sometimes during) an event. It's really quite painful. But, if you take that part out, it's not completely without merit. Some of these people are insanely strong and agile, which is inspiring and entertaining to see. But not in place of Heroes. That's just wrong!

I also just saw this morning that another putrid, returning reality show, which will not be screened in my house (unless the producers wish to pay me) is Search for the Next Pussycat Doll: Girlicious. Yes, you read that correctly. The show has a subtitle this time around and it's "Girlicious". Which is way too close to "Fergalicious" for my tastes. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

One more note today, which is to make sure you are checking Spunkybean often, as we are always adding great stuff to the site. This week we'll have EJ's hillarious take on Celebrity Apprentice (with, let's hope, less porn-oriented comments than on this blog) and The Don's Idol Preview, plus music and sports content if that's more your thing. Plus, get ready for my latest piece...an in-depth analysis of male celebrity hair in pop culture. There may still be a strike on, but at Spunkybean, we laugh in the face of bad TV...literally!

Back in the Race!

I feel like it's been eons since the last episode of The Amazing Race, since my DVR betrayed me a couple weeks ago and Survivor pre-empted it last week.  Well, tonight, my favorite competitive travelogue was back, and I was so excited!  I honestly was just enjoying watching them all run around outside in shorts and t-shirts (and Rachel in her leggings, which I'm thinking could run the race themselves by now), as it is so bitterly cold and windy here.  I also really want to go to Italy, so that was a bonus.  

I admire the hell out of Rachel and her boyfriend, Thomas Kyle (as his mother's message on the product-placed Blackberry revealed TK's full name to be).  They had setback after setback tonight and they didn't meltdown.  First, she left the clue at the cafe, and they scoured the car, then turned around to go back.  He never called her "stupid" or anything.  Then, he had to go up in that plane three times to everyone else's once before he saw "Vinci" in the field.  She never yelled "I hate you!"  Then, after successfully completing what looked to be the tougher detour, they got a freaking flat tire on the way to the pitstop.  Did they start sobbing, screaming or whining?  No, TK changed the tire and they went back on their way, with zero drama.  Can you even begin to imagine if this series of events had happened to any of the other teams left?  Nate may have killed Butt-Chin Jen.  Christina may have killed herself after her father belittled her to the brink of insanity.  And we did get a glimpse of Vixen having a mini-breakdown and Kent sniping at her, but I can't really blame her, given the degree of lost they were for most of the leg and the fact that she said at one point she'd been up for 30 hours.  I'd have driven into a ditch by that point.  I had to chuckle at how rough he looked by the end of the day.  Pity he had to waste all that purple lip gloss sitting in the back seat of a car.  This is definitely one of those teams where I wish she could stay and he could go.  He's such and annoying wuss and she seems like, under her stupid pink hair, she's a pretty cool chick.

Gotta love my boys Don and Nick, who each got a sweet "FF" tat and cruised in as Team #1.  I loved Don wishing they'd gotten a head-shaving FF.  Remember poor Joyce a few years back, and how kick-ass she was about losing all her hair?  To be fair though, those tats were pretty small.  It was like the Friends episode where Rachel and Phoebe got tattoos and Phoebe's was like, a dot, that she told everyone was the earth as seen from outer space.  (Rachel:  "I just got a heart.  Phoebe got the whole world!")

I had a very good feeling that it was a non-elim, and I'm digging on the idea of the "speed bump" ahead for Kent and Vixen.  Clearly, the producers have finally figured out the whole take all your stuff and make you beg for money thing was useless, and that's a good thing.  And I think this is better than a time penalty.

To all who celebrate, have a Merry Christmas!  I'm personally hoping to consume all the baked goods I missed out on at Thanksgiving.  

And, even though I don't know when you're going to read this, here's a big birthday shout-out to my best friend, Mindy, who is 35 today!  (And, yes, my best friend's name is really Mindy, I'm not schizophrenic.  Nor are we twins.  Ah, nevermind.)

Amazing Observations

Not enough exciting happened last night on The Amazing Race to recap, so I'll just share my quick observations on each duo still racing.

Azaria & Hendekia: Well, they've really done nothing to annoy me yet, and their racing so far has been of the highest quality. Plus they had some kick-ass dance moves last night.

Nate & Butt-Chin Jen: He's piped down a bit since they've moved to the front, of course. She's still annoying and you can tell the editors agree, as they made sure to point out that she's a former Clipper dancer as she proceeded to suck so bad at the dance challenge that she and Nate incurred a 10 minute penalty. Then she wanted A&H to let them have 1st place, since the sibs had already had it twice. Sorry, lady, show's called The Amazing Race. Moose out front shoulda told ya. Just be happy to be where you are and cram it. First place only truly matters at the finish line, so relax.

Ronald & Christina: This man is a complete goober, sorry. And she's not really much better. We've established that he's an a-hole, but she's a bit of a dork.

Kent & Vixen: If those are your real names. She's pretty awesome, I've decided, fake goth name aside. The roles are completely reversed on this team, even when she broke down in the cab to the pitstop. He just looked like she was radioactive when he was hugging her. What is his deal?

Don & Nick: I've finally figured out who Grandpa reminds me of...Rudy from the original Survivor! He's not quite as humorless and crusty, but he's totally Rudy 2.0. It's too bad there's no flamboyantly gay couple for him to cringe at on this edition! I guess they've just decided they can't top the perfection of Danny & Oswald and given up. This is my hope, anyway.

Jen & Shanna: I go back and forth on how I feel about them using the new U-turn last night, which required the team they selected, Lorena & Jason, to go back and do the other half of the detour that they'd passed on originally. However, I think they are certainly within their rights to have done so. After all, it is a race for a million bucks. It looks like there's some good drama with them next week, though!

Rachel & TK: I spent the whole episode marvelling at how tiny she is! She looks so waifish on TV, I can only imagine how small she actually is. I really like them so far, though. They have yet to lose their tempers with each other, which is impressive to me personally. They define chill. And, even though she got lost, she still rocked that Roadblock.

See ya, Lorena & Jason. You didn't have a shot in hell once it became clear there would be no airport bunching to decrease your two hour deficit. It wasn't the same once I found out you wouldn't let Rory sit under your tree at Yale anyway, Jason. Lorena, I'm thinking you need to drop this dude pretty quick since, if you stay with him, you will be cheated on early and often, if you haven't been already. Just sayin'.

This Just In: Camel Milk is Grainy!

I'm sorry, but could anything sound more disgusting? I don't think so, and now, thanks to my new buddy TK on The Amazing Race, I know that freshly squeezed camel milk is grainy. I may never get that out of my head. What else did we learn last night? The air travel that is generally worked out in the first act of each episode is rarely important this early in the season, despite what the music cues would like you to believe, as the bunching will always come into play with this many competitors. Ditto for any big dilemma that looks to do a team in if it happens right before a commercial break. Butt-Chin Jen, as I like to call her (the one with Nate), seems rather angry at everyone, not just Nate. Lorena could just as easily be named Sybil and no one would bat an eye. Girlfriend seems a wee-bit manic, but I couldn't really blame her last night. Many of you know me and you know that if I was in a high-pressure camel milking competition (if I had a nickel...) I may just freak out in a similar manner. This is one of many reasons why I watch this show instead of even think about participating. I can only imagine what a giant spazz I would look like on TV when I flipped out about being lost or, ya know, a camle kicking my bowl of warm, grainy milk. I'm only trying to learn from others what I can do to better myself. At least her boyfriend (who, to me, looks like a cross between Mark Walhberg and Freddy Rodriguez from Six Feet Under) was supportive and didn't yell at her. Points for that, Jason.

The sisters from Miami were eliminated, and I'm pleased with that. First of all, the spazzy girl pulled it together and finished the leg, which validates us spazzes everywhere, and secondly, they were just a snooze. Sure, they were cute and athletic and had cool accents when they said Spanish words, but that was about it. Next week, it looks like we might be seeing our old friend The Yield for the first time this season. I really don't like this part of the game, because it always brings out the self-righteousness in the people who get yielded, plus it's way early in the game so no real rivalries have developed yet. I hope the previews are as misleading as they usually are. All in all, a satisfying episode of Race, except for that milk.