The Queen of Useless Information

The Best Shows You're Not Watching

2008-09-23T14:11:00.001-07:00

I know Monday night is an absolute log jam for many of us TV addicts. You have Heroes, Chuck, Dancing, and, if you're truly awesome (like me), CBS comedies Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. Well, my good people, this is the night the DVR was made for. Watch one or two of these programs on Monday, and save a couple for the wastelands later in the week. You will not be sorry if you add BBT and HIMYM to your plate.

These are unheralded comedies that simply do not get their due, but viewership seems to be on the rise. Hope springs eternal! CBS actually won the night in Adults 1849 last night, which is big. The great part is that new viewers got a stellar new episode of Big Bang Theory to kick off the year. Jim Parsons, who plays ubergeek Sheldon, was in a zone. I laughed out loud several times at his performance. Sure, Leonard (played by Johnny Galecki) is the more relatable nerd, who has at least some idea of how to act socially, but it's Sheldon who steals the thing almost every week. Can you imagine dealing with a person this closed off and socially stunted? He's a unique character, to say the least. Please check this show out; I promise you won't be sorry! Here are two clips to whet your appetite...

Watch CBS Videos Online

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Donna Martin Graduates!

2008-09-06T19:29:00.000-07:00

So, I finally got to watch the first hour of the new 90210. I'm waiting for the stupid CW to put episode two up on their annoying website so I can catch that, as my DVR broke the premiere into 2 separate hours, and I only got one. I think I've seen enough to make a few comments.

First of all, problem. Hannah Zuckerman Vasquez was born when Andrea was a college sophomore, and Erin Silver was already at least three or four...Kelly's mom and David's dad got married and had her when the gang was still in high school. (Remember, David lost her at the park that time because he was high? That was freshman year, when he got hooked on drugs doing overnights at the radio station.) So, I don't think there's any way the two of them would both be in high school at the same time, unless one of them is a complete moron, and we know Hannah's parents would not allow for that one. At least they didn't try to toss Maddie, Steve and Janet's daughter, into the mix, since she'd only be about eight or nine. Then, again, it's essentially a soap opera, so we could just chalk this up to SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome). Moving on...

Secondly, this Naomi girl is ridiculous. Yes, I imagine there are certainly girls like her in this era of entitlement, but even at her bitchiest, Kelly Taylor was nothing like this brat. I hope she gets some layers soon. Currently, she's like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls.

I don't mind the central family, the Wilsons. Annie and Dixon are both likable enough, and Lori Loughlin and Rob Estes are fine so far. Kinda random to just throw in that he fathered a child with Naomi's mom right off the bat, no? It's like a reverse Steve Sanders storyline, but we're not invested with these people at all yet, so why not let it build, and make that woman even the teensiest bit likable first?

I guess that dickhead George guy who attacked Dixon is supposed to be Sanders-ish, since he had the slickest car and was a bully, even though Steve was never really like that.

Of course, Jessica Walters kicks ass as Tabitha; perfect casting there. The little bit I did see of the second hour alluded to her being in a car accident (she was drunk, right?), and I saw her hanging out with Linda Gray, who certainly knows from playing a drunk. Sue Ellen Ewing has never looked better.

I love me some Kelly Taylor, so I hope she is around consistently. And, was Nat in any other scene besides the one where he couldn't make a cappucino, and called Willie for help? Is Nadine still there too? WHY DO I KNOW THIS????!!!

I don't yet mind Ethan (Naomi's cheating boyfriend) or Navid (nice David Silver call back with the video camera and the name) and I think I like Silver so far. I like how the connections to the past leave it open for former cast members to return, but they can also be ignored or explained away as necessary.

I missed Brenda's grand entrance, which I why I want to catch episode two somehow. I also know about Kelly's son, and that we are not sure if it's Dylan's, Brandon's or someone else's entirely. Personally, I'm rooting for John Sears.

You've piqued my interest, 90210, I'll be back. Thoughts?

They Grow Up So Fast...

2008-09-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

In our little blog circle (well, there's three of us, so it's more like a blog triangle), we often remark on our similar interests, likes and dislikes. One of my colleagues (I figure we write together, so we're colleagues, right?) and I each have two kids that are very close in age. Our youngest ones are less than a month apart and our oldest girls both started kindergarten recently. He's really concerned about what'll go on in the big bad world of "real" school, because he's a dad, I guess. As a mom, I'm more just in awe of my little girl and how grown up she seemed on that first day. Sure, I had to help her button up the back of her dress, but she did everything else.

And when we stopped at Einstein's to get a bagel before we headed to school together, she noticed another girl who looked about her age and just asked if she was going to kindergarten, too. When her mother said she was, and we then discovered they would be in the same class, my daughter just said, "I'm Hannah, what's your name?" Upon receiving her reply, Hannah said, "Nice to meet you!" That's my kid...charming and polite. She truly makes friends wherever she goes. I know kindergarten will be only the beginning of a successful and wonderful life for her. Yes, I'm completely biased, but I'm pretty sure she's special...and you can't tell me otherwise.

I've taught her well. When faced with picking out a folder and backpack for school, a market glutted with licensed material from Hannah Montana, High School Musical and everything else Disney, my child picked a backpack with pink flowers and a folder with purple butterflies because, as she said, "I might get tired of those characters." Of course, she relented when it came to a lunchbox, and selected Tinkerbell. Awesomely, it is a metal lunchbox, just like I carried. They don't come with a thermos anymore, though, so I don't think I can send soup. I desperately wish I'd saved my Charlie's Angels or Holly Hobbie lunchbox for her, but those suckers would probably be pretty rusty by now, huh?

That was Cool

2008-08-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

I have to say, as much controversy as there is surrounding this Beijing Olympics, the Opening Ceremonies that kicked off the "fortnight" of competition was spectacular. My two year old stood up on the couch and tried to play right along with the 2,008 drummers that moved in perfect sync. My five year old was blown away with the dancers, the lights, the fireworks. It was all staged with impeccable precision and grace.

The Parade of Nations can be a little tedious, sure, but it's still fascinating in its own way. Did you see the hideous dresses worn by the Hungarian women? The outfits worn by the Americans, which were designed by Ralph Lauren? When my husband and I were at the Salt Lake Games in '02, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone wearing one of those Roots hats the athletes wore to the Opening Ceremony. They were somewhat reasonably priced at $25. The retail on those driving caps that Kobe, Lebron and the other 700+ U.S. athletes were rockin'? $55! And the Polo shirts (with extra large Polo pony logo, of course)? $125! Unbelievable. Then again, we're still convinced there was a giant conspiracy amongst the people of Park City, Utah to convince all us gullible tourists that we simply MUST have a $125 wool & fleece blanket to endure the frigid temps at the Opening Ceremony there...which we just ended up schlepping around with us because it actually made us sweat on top of our coats, hats, scarves, ski pants, and long johns. They totally saw us coming, huh?

And then there is the whole Olympic Pin phenomena. There are pin enthusiasts wherever you go at an Olympic Games, and most of those are actually pretty inexpensive (Average price, about $8). In Utah, the most sought after pin was in the shape of Jello, which is apparently the most popular dessert in the state (OK...) But in Beijing, NBC's trying to sell a $60 limited edition pin. That's crazy. It's amazing what people will buy, isn't it?

On another note, did everyone hear the story of the nine-year-old boy who entered the stadium with Yao Ming and the Chinese athletes? He survived the recent earthquake in China, which leveled his elementary school. 20 of his 30 classmates died. When pint-sized Lin Hau got free of the rubble, he actually went back in for two classmates. Asked why he would do such a thing, his answer was "I'm a class leader. I'm the hall monitor, and it's my job." If this doesn't at least put a lump in your throat, you are made of stone.

And then the torch lighting. Now, I have to say, the Chinese gymnast Li Nin g being hoisted up to the scrim and then "running" around the upper ring of the Bird's Nest (the central stadium for the games, it actually looks like a bird's nest) was neat, but it kind of dragged on. I enjoyed the way he lit the flame and the visual spectacle of it twisting around the cauldron, but it can never hope to top two of the previous Olympic torch lightings in my mind. One, of course, was Mohammed Ali, racked with tremors from Parkinson's, walking slowly to the cauldron in Atlanta. I'm pretty sure I cried for about an hour. The other, for sheer coolness, had to be the athlete who shot the Olympic flame with a bow and arrow to light the cauldron in Barcelona. I don't think anything will ever surpass that, so they can just stop trying.

I Walked!

2008-07-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

Since someone just can't stop going on and on about all the running he's been doing (we got it, Michael Johnson, you're an accomplished athlete now. Or would you prefer I call you Paul Tergat? Yes, I did research on this.), I feel compelled to tell you that this morning, I got up early and walked! For a whole 30 minutes! I attempted to break into a run at several key points, but simply ended up with a cramp, so I just walked really fast. Broke a sweat and everything!

I figure if I can drag my (increasingly fat) ass outta bed now, when the weather is awesome, maybe I have a shot at making this a routine. So, if you see me, or speak to me, or spot me toolin' around in cyberspace, ask me if I walked today. I need to exercise, as doing so allows me to eat bread and dessert. Oh, and if anyone wants to buy me new shoes, I'm a size 7 and these New Balance cross-trainers are so cute!

Marshall, Will and Holly...

2008-07-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

So, today I drove home to a soundtrack of TV theme songs, which I have said on more than one occasion are my personal anecdote to being in a funk of any kind. You simply cannot be in a bad mood when Marla Gibbs sings "There's No Place Like Home" or Jose Feliciano says "Chico, don't be discouraged, the man he ain't so hard to understand." Well, I can't, that's for sure.

And I got an extra kick out of hearing the Land of the Lost theme today, as it reminded me of this article, written by Oscar Winner Diablo Cody for EW. She got to visit the set of the Will Ferrell movie based on the classic Sid & Marty Kroft show, set to open in 2009. I personally cannot wait for this, and will drag my children as well. I assume they will be as frightened by the sleestaks as I was, which is to say, not at all. And my son, who is not yet two, is already proficient at saying "Chaka".

Now, if only there were remakes of The Banana Splits, The Great Space Coaster and 80's kid game show I'm Telling! in the works, I'd be on cloud nine. Anybody else remember these? (Anybody besides EJ?) Any other kiddie classics you'd like to see hit the big screen, or return to the small one?

My New BFF

2008-07-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

She doesn't know it yet, but Chelsea Handler and I are BFF. I've been trying to catch her show, the hilarious Chelsea Lately, (11:30 pm on E!) as often as possible, and I have now added her book Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea my list of books I must read ASAP. The title alone means I shall love it instantly.

Chelsea's a slightly different version of the whole Sarah Silverman/Kathy Griffin super-self deprecating, rip on celebs female comic genre. She portrays herself as a slut, but she so owns it, that you can't hold it against her. Plus, I enjoy her interviews with various celebrities on her show, a skill she's still polishing, but getting better at with each episode. Just add her to the list of famous funny women I'd essentially like to be when I grow up, I guess.

A Little Advice

2008-07-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

OK, I don't have much to say today, except to pimp out some upcomng stuff on spunkybean, but before I get there, let Aunt Myndi give you a word of advice.

If you're driving along, thinking, "My goodness, I'm parched! That sweet tea that McDonald's is advertising everywhere certainly sounds refreshing! What could be more thirst quenching on a hot summer day than a delightful glass of tea?"

The answer to that question is: Almost anything! You're better off chewing on a sweaty gym sock than you are drinking this crap if you're really thirsty. There's enough sugar in a glass of this iced tea to give a person diabetes on contact. Don't believe the hype, people!

Have a great weekend, get outside and enjoy the sunshine. Start watching Big Brother 10 on Sunday night and tune in to spunkybean next week for recaps. Plus, we'll have the most extensive coverage of Batman you've ever seen on a website that's not already devoted to Batman. See you there!

Tooth Fairy Talk

2008-07-10T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my 5 year old got her third visit from the tooth fairy. She was so excited and proud; it's one of the cutest things ever, really. I observed her conversation with a slightly older friend on 4th of July on the topic. You see, this girl's seven, so she's a veteran. She was telling Hannah, in the most serious tone of voice, how she and two of her friends have the same tooth fairy and it's the same one both of her parents had when they were kids, and Hannah was fascinated. I was picturing a little tooth fairy union meeting where they bust out a map and all kinds of family trees to see if they can maintain the integrity of a family's tooth fairy through the generations. Wouldn't that be awesome, ya know, if it were a real thing? I wonder if tooth fairies would ever strike?

Of course, the real tooth fairies were scrambling last night to find a dollar to place under her pillow. I only had a ten in my wallet and my husband had no bills. As we were panicking, we came up with this brilliant plan: he had four quarters, which we figured she'd see as a downgrade, so we took her piggy bank and pulled out a dollar and replaced it with the four quarters (like she would have missed them, but guilt is powerful.) We laughed the whole time because it's just silly.

Sadly, Hannah is already sort of jaded. This morning, we had to ask her if the tooth fairy had come! Her response, "Oh yeah. He came. I got the same National Treasure money as last time." (The preview for that movie is on her Enchanted DVD, so she's seen the logo with the pyramid many times.) She wasn't complaining about the amount, mind you, they're all just "moneys" to her, but she's looking for something "different". Maybe we should have stuck with the four quarters...

Random and Retro

2008-07-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

So, this morning, I listened to a TAPE in my car. Yes, that's what I said, a tape. It was something I happened to find in the storage bin I have in my arm rest...Common Thread: Songs of The Eagles, and it was released in 1993. Basically, it's a Eagles tribute album, and it's all Country artists. I love The Eagles, but not so much Country music, however this album is not too bad. I mean, no one desecrates an Eagles song in the way Kristy Lee Cook positively molested "8 Days A Week" on American Idol.

By far, the best songs are "I Can't Tell You Why", sung by Vince Gill, and "Sad Cafe", covered by Lorrie Morgan. Of course, these songs are the last songs on either side of the tape, which in infuriating. How did we deal with this years ago? Rewinding, fast forwarding, flipping the damn thing over? It's just obnoxious! It was easier back when everything was on vinyl and you just counted the grooves and figured out where to drop the needle. One good note was that the tape was recorded in something called "Digalog" so the sound quality was actually not too bad.

All of this old school audio stuff made me smile twice as broadly when I saw a Chevette roll by me on the road. We had a maroon Chevette for many years, with sticky vinyl seats and a radio where you had to push the buttons to change stations. That was fun. I also spent a few minutes wondering how the TV repair shop and old school Mom N Pop hardware store (the place looks like it could be on the set of The Wonder Years) that I pass each day actually stay in business.

I'm also suddenly living with a tiny Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley as my 1 year old (he'll be two in September) has taken to saying "Hello" in the same way as that classic TV character. It's a little eerie and a lot funny.

Ferris Bueller had it right when he said, "The world moves fast. if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it."

Other random thoughts for you today...

I was a little too happy about the team from The Office winning on Celebrity Family Feud last night. I just love that entire cast, and I feel like I know them, since I listen to every commentary track on the DVDs and just follow the show so completely. I know, I may need help. But, you have to admit that it kicks ass that they picked a charity located in Scranton, PA to donate the $50K they won. That's too cool.

Finally, I have to admit that I know every word to the song "Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis. That thing's catchy, even if it's a little gross and not terribly realistic in its lyrics. These are the things I think about, gang. That, and the fact that the new Big Brother should be a VAST improvement on the winter edition. Check out the Snap Judgements EJ & I made over at spunkybean!!

Please Tell Me How to Feel

2008-07-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

I'm so confused by this trainwreck called The Two Coreys on A&E. Being who I am, and having come of age in the 1980s, I greatly anticipated this show's first season, and was sorely let down. Turns out that Corey Feldman and his wife (who was the President of his fan club--wait, it gets better) are total douchebags. And it also turns out that the show was at least partially scripted and completely contrived. Like, nothing happening was real at all. Including the house we're led to believe is the Feldmans and the fact that Haim is depicted as a giant slob.

I didn't make it to the finale, in which Haim apparently blew up on Feldman's wife, Susie, and left town. I didn't intend to even peek in on Season 2. Somehow, though, I stumbled across it one night and was transfixed. This season is obstensibly about two things: The Coreys are in "couples" therapy, in the hopes of repairing their broken friendship, and Haim is working full time to get his once promising career back on track.

OK, the therapy thing is bizarre. Haim seems to be really trying and maybe even benefitting from his time with the shrink. Feldman just sits there like the asshat he so clearly is and always has been, talking about all his "projects". (The best was when he went to pitch some reality show with his manager, and was asked if there was any way they could get Haim to join the project. Ha!)

I feel for Corey Haim, as he was always, by far, my favorite Corey. I mean, c'mon, he was Lucas! This kid is all about talent and potential that was squandered by drugs and alcohol; he is the quintessential E! True Hollywood Story. To me, you have to root for the kid. Unless you're Corey Feldman, in which case you make fun of him. To which I say, shut up, ya tool bag. You married the president of your stupid fan club and just hired some clown who is your self-professed number one fan and who is all kinds of inappropriate once let into your house.

Reading various online forums about the show, I can't tell if Haim is really sober or not. His demeanor is certainly a little off, but I was just assuming it was from all the drugs he's done before and how addled his brain was by the stroke he had as a result. Some people are observing that he has habits inidicative of a meth head. I don't know. I want to believe what I'm being shown by A&E, because I want him to get back on track and have the redemption arc he truly needs. I would like Feldman to go away entirely. Maybe his new assistant can help me with that...

Sha La La La

2008-07-07T09:55:00.001-07:00

Someone has issued me a challenge to blog every day this week. I am attempting to meet said challenge. I can't promise they'll all be gems, but I will write an entry every day this week, starting with yesterday's missive.

So, while I ate my lunch just now (does that salad really balance out the pizza and Oreos? No it does not.) I watched an old episode of Family Ties that I discovered on CBS's website of all places (they must own the production company or something) while I was waiting the announcement of the next Big Brother cast. (I know. I'm disgusted, too.)

ANYWAY...sure the "C" plot of Alex buying the family an answering machine is dated and only slightly funny, but I still think this show holds up as a solid family sitcom. I know we all love our irreverant, unconventional, uncomfortable sitcoms nowadays, but a well-made family sitcom is still deserving of a spot on a network schedule. The key, of course, is witty writing and good casting, both obvious, but neither are easy feats.

What I really noticed today was the excellence of Michael Gross' portrayal of Steven Keaton. He plays Steven as goofy yet deadly serious and he should be the example to which all TV Dads aspire to today. I caught an episode of The Bill Engval Show on TBS recently, and I think that show could have the goods if it gets the chance to grow, which it should on TBS. Heck, they have Tim Meadows as a neighbor, which is a good sign.

On the other hand, I also sought out an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on hulu this morning (I heard the Sklar Brothers on the radio this morning, and wanted to see them in said episode...their parts were too small, dammit!) and laughed my ass off.

I'm an enigma, people. It's gonna be a strange week.

I'm Sorry, Have We Met?

2008-07-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

Hi there! My name's Myndi and this is my blog. Not that you would know it from my stunning lack of presence lately. In my defense, things have been hectic with summer activities in full swing, a big merger going on at work (and me struggling to properly file all my TPS reports!) plus the big doins' over on spunkybean. I noticed in my last post that I mentioned my anticipation of the new Celebrity Family Feud. Well, it's on the air, and here's where you can find my very candid thoughts (plus some pretty big boobs--thanks to Don for that...) Now on to another summer show that I didn't really plan to watch, but I found to be a compelling mixture of fascinating and annoying once I tuned in.

The show is The Baby Borrowers on NBC. I'm sure you've at least heard the premise, which involves teen couples being given a nice suburban home and about 2 days to get settled before a real, live infant is handed over for 3 days by their parents for the kids to care for. The rest of the episodes will involve the teens caring for toddlers, preteens, teenagers themselves and then, I guess for fun(?), the elderly. I suppose this could help the kids determine if they're cut out to work in a nursing home...and we will need more people who can do that as the baby boomers age...hell, we need them now.

But I digress. The first two episodes focused on the kids adjusting to the idea of having a baby and just how much work it truly is. One of the couples was obviously quite good at the whole thing, from dealing with the pregnancy belly to setting up the nursery (including putting the crib together) and finally to caring for the child, all while barely a cross word passed between them. This was Sascha and Jordan. I hate to have to point out that they are the African American couple, but in the world of reality TV, a positive portrayal of an African American couple is something that must be noted. Sadly, the fact that they created next to no drama meant we barely saw them.

Next in terms of competence were Kelly and Austin, at least as far as caring for the child. Mostly, I think Kelly is concerned with playing house and playing tennis, all while looking her very best, but she was genuinely good with her baby, and even made dinner while Austin was out working for the day. If she could have just avoided the spazz out she had when she was told by producers to wear the pregnancy belly (which was uncomfortable--duh) that ended with her sobbing behind a locked bathroom door, she would have been the big winner. Then again, maybe she was just giving poor Austin a taste of what he's in for when those hormones kick in, figuring she's in good shape since he didn't run away screaming.

It went downhill from there, with Kelsey and Sean. Now, in fairness to Kelsey's apparently fragile psyche, they were given the youngest baby (Etta was only six months old) and she was given to their care by her mother, who is still nursing her, carries her in a sling at all times and co-sleeps with her. (I was afraid of that last one myself...I would've never slept a wink due to my intense fear of smothering my child.) So, poor Etta didn't take to Kelsey, likely out of massive confusion and a sense of Kelsey's fear, but she dug Sean, who wanted only to see his girlfriend stumble in this "experiment" (as the show is being called) and talk herself out of a desire to marry and have kids immediately. Kelsey was a basket case, but at least she wasn't selfish about the baby's needs.

Morgan and Daton epitomized one stereotype of today's teens, who are so self-absorbed they can't see setting aside their desires, whatever they may be, to please or take care of others. Then again, this is essentially every teenager, and they look like they may grow out of it. They had a very cute little one, whose dad came over to the house (all the parents could watch the goings on via monitors and intervene at any time) and very rationally calmed them down when his daughter was insanely fussy.

The cherry on top of this crazy sundae was Alicea and her well-meaning but overwhelmed boyfriend Corey. These two said they were the product of teen mothers so they figured having kids young would be best. Yeah, not if you're a spoiled, entitled brat who refuses to be patient, take advice, criticism, correction or guidance of any kind. Good luck and I will pray for any of your children. Corey was the only one to get up with their teething, miserable child at 3 am and even changed the poopy diapers. Alicea showed zero compassion for the poor little guy after she was dressed down by his mother on day one for giving up on trying to feed him baby food. She told him to "starve". In fairness, I guarantee you I've said that once or twice to my kids out of frustration, but I think this mother was afraid Alicea really meant it.

The biggest surprise was the lack of actual work experience among any of these ten kids. I understand that school work may be too much to work during the year, but how about a summer job? It's infuriating to watch some of the kids (ok, it was mostly Alicea) freak out at any criticism on the job and talk back to supervisors and so forth. Of course, the parents have to shoulder some blame for that. If nothing else, I've learned how crucial it is for me to have my kids begin some sort of job--anything--when they are young teens. They have to learn responsibility and how to behave in a workplace.

I think this show should be screened in high schools. Between the evil that is Paris Hilton and that pregnancy pact that was in the news, it's obvious that teens today think that babies are nothing more than accessories or toys and it's all fun and games. Talk to me at 4 am when you can't get the kid to let go of you or sleep or anything else. On second thought, don't. I've done it twice and I'm done. I'll be sleeping at 4am!!

Don't Stop Believin'

2008-06-03T09:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, once again, it's been too long since I've written anything here. I'm sure you've all (all four of you) found other things to occupy your time. I finally found something I thought was screaming to be shared. Two things, actually. First is this: the new singer for Journey, a man from the Philippines named Arnel Pineda. He sound so much like Steve Perry, long estranged from the band, that it gave me chills when I heard him sing. And he has a touching story of survival as an orphan in his native country that makes this feel like he's getting the opportunity of a lifetime as well, which is cool. Check out this snippet of him being talked about on Ellen a few months back:

On another topic, I watched Million Dollar Password this week, and was entertained, mostly by Neil Patrick Harris, but also sad that the game was not really Password, but rather an amalgam of $100,000 Pyramid, Password and Millionaire. Why can't we just have a nice, old fashioned game show set with slightly slicker production values? Oh no, we have to look we're taking a journey into space with Captain Regis at the helm, or it's simply not a 21st century game show! Please. I miss the days when everyone wore suits by Botany 500 and got Turtle Wax and Rice a Roni as conciliation prizes. I'm a little afraid of what the sets for Celebrity Family Feud and the new Gong Show are going to look like, but I will certainly watch and find out. I love me some classic game shows!!

It's Tribe Time Now!

2008-05-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

Wow! I have not posted to this blog in a very long time, have I? I guess having all my shows return from the strike in full force has limited my free time a bit.

But, I just had to share this gem from my favorite baseball team, the Cleveland Indians. Sure, the Wahoos aren't flying as high as I'd like them to be at this point in the season, but despite some woes, they're still only a game and a half back of the Twins in the very competitive AL Central.

Last night, in what turned out to be a loss, second baseman Asdrubal Cabrera still completed one of the rarest feats in the majors. He turned what is only the 14th unassisted triple play in the history of Major League Baseball. With a hit and run on, the runners at first and second were in motion as the hitter smacked a line drive at Cabrera. He then stepped on second and tagged the runner who would've been heading for third.

Honestly, it almost looks a little routine, but this is not something that happens often at all, as the statistics indicate. I'll choose to take it as a sign that big things are happening for the Indians this year. I'm really big into that right now. I'll explain another day.

Watch and enjoy history!

Beyond Random

2008-04-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

First of all, I have to note that while I compose this, I'm watching one of my favorite movies no one has ever seen. It's called Playing By Heart and stars (check it out) Angelina Jolie, Sean Connery, Gena Rowlands, Ellen Burstyn, Dennis Quaid, Ryan Phillippe, Gillian Anderson and Jon Stewart. It's a quiet little movie about relationships, but it's beautifully acted and I am always amazed that it wasn't more successful just based on that cast.

How crazy is this picture? My cousin apparently flew from L.A. to Chicago on a plane with Mr. T, and she had the cajones to ask for a picture afterward, which, even though this man's fame peaked 20+ years ago, I still doubt I would have been able to do. Way to be, Suze! And good job spotting him without all that gold. Must make it easier for him to go through security, though, huh?

So, continuing on with the theme of family, this weekend was the beginning of the Passover holiday. We drove to Cleveland to have the seder with my parents, a meal that is fun when you have little kids. My mom went all out. She decorated the table with the seder plate I made in Sunday School in 1981, which is still awesome. She even picked up finger puppets that represented the ten plagues. When I asked where one could get such things, she said "I got them at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I guess this is the Beyond." No kidding!

I did something at my parents' that I haven't done in ages. I actually called the time and temperature. There were some computer issues and we weren't near a TV, so I actually picked up the phone and dialed the number. The best part was that there was a message that said the service might not be able to continue on without advertiser support. It asked callers to please EMAIL the reasons they want to keep the service going. Isn't that awesome? Because, honestly, how many of the people who routinely call the time and temp do you think even know what email is? I'm willing to bet it's a small percentage.

Some other random items:

I suddenly found myself missing Celebrity Poker Showdown the other day. I don't know why exactly, but it was sort of fun to watch some of the stars interact in that setting. And in the couple of years since it's gone off the air, so many great shows have come into their own and it would have been just phenomenal fun to watch table featuring the casts of shows like Lost, The Office and 30 Rock, among others.

I am now openly rooting for Cirie on Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites, based solely on her brilliant engineering of Ozzy's ouster this past week. Picking the exact right time to pounce when she knew he felt so comfortable he wouldn't play the hidden immunity idol? Genius.

On our trip, I discovered a business to business catalog in my husband's car which he had borrowed. Should I be concerned that he might develop feelings for one of the models? Some of them were quite attractive.

SNL...funny bits

2008-04-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

Although it was not the best of the season, last weekend's Saturday Night Live, hosted by Ashton Kutcher did have it's moments. The Cold Open was not one, as the thing went on for NINE MINUTES. Good Lord, it's called editing. But I did enjoy Ashton's monologue about the importance of a producer's job, the "Cougar Den" sketch (which I have not been able to find online, dammit!) and the little "Death By Chocolate" bumpers, one of which is below for your amusement.

And no post these days is complete without a link to spunkybean. This week we have the mix tape piece (audio of said tape is now linked to the article) and EJ's brilliant Breakfast Cereal Mascot investigation. The results may shock you, so be prepared. And, of course, there's always recaps of Dancing With the Stars, Big Brother, and American Idol and even an early review of Ironman to round out your day. See you there!

Perfection

2008-04-14T11:10:00.001-07:00

No, no not me! But thank you!

I have already watched and rewatched last week's triumphant return episodes of The Office and 30 Rock on TV and Hulu. I couldn't be happier, as a huge fan of both, to see them back and in fine form.

The Office ratcheted up the awkward factor to a disturbing level, but that's where we like it, isn't it? There are so many amazing things happening in this episode--from Jan's Andy Warhol-esque picture of herself on the wall (see the clip below) to her former assistant Hunter's song, to Dwight's "carnal" relationship with his babysitter and Michael's hand-shaped chairs. I could go on and on. What this episode proved is that you don't need Jim and Pam to have a fight or any other standard sitcom angst to keep this show moving. It's in a class almost by itself in the way it can take a situation and turn it on it's head thanks to these insane yet somehow endearing characters and their mundane lives. Just watch the clip of "The Tour":

I say almost by itself because 30 Rock is right there too, except it can be even wackier, in a sense. This week's episode was a callback to an early season reference to a show Jack had in development called MILF Island, which is now airing on bizarro-NBC (Jerry Seinfeld is one of its executive producers, as a matter of fact). It features terms like "erection cove", "you've kept it tight" and "we no longer want to hit that". Aren't we just inches away from this show, anyway? And the whole thing was just a metaphor for Liz trying to frame any other member of her staff for calling Jack a "Class A Moron" in the elevator while unknowingly bitching about him to a Page Six reporter. As usual, it's Alec Baldwin who makes the episode, and I think I almost hyperventilated during this scene:

If you need some more fun this sunny Monday, bop on over to spunkybean, where you will find my idea of the ultimate summer mix tape...

I Am Giddy

2008-04-08T11:19:00.001-07:00

In case you have not been paying attention, this Thursday will mark the triumphant return of The Office from its strike-induced hiatus! I was excited before, but when I saw this interview clip and the other preview clips for the episode on Hulu, I squealed with delight. I really don't know if I can get through the next 48 hours or so, honestly.

Also, I have to tell you all how much I've been enjoying watching classic episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show over on Hulu as well. Sure, some of the furniture and costumes are dated (though not as many costumes as one might think!), but most of the humor still resonates as well as it did when the show debuted a whopping 38 years ago. And best of all, it's not like watching a clip on You Tube, where the quality is haphazard. If you don't want to go out and buy a DVD set, I think this is best way to watch free TV on the Internet.

And don't forget to head over to spunkybean to read my Dancing With the Stars and Big Brother recaps as well as other scintillating stuff, like how monkeys control the universe. It's true. If you haven't checked the site in a while, please stop by soon!

More sitcom stuff

2008-03-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well, as it turns out that, after just three airings, The Return of Jezebel James is being put of its misery. And mine, frankly. Fox is going to air Bones re-runs in its place for the forseeable future. If you want to regain your faith in Parker Posey, go ahead and watch Waiting for Guffman or Best in Show. Girlfriend is great in those. Heck, I'd even suggest the little seen Josie and the Pussycats. It's one of my favorite movies that no one's ever seen, and she's hillariously over-the-top in it.

As for Britney's big appearance on How I Met Your Mother last night? Let's just say she wasn't awful! I'm not saying she was good or anything, but she didn't ruin the show, so there's that. I thought the episode was worlds better than the previous week, and I really liked Josh Radnor and Sarah Chalke together. That two minute date at the end had me grinning from ear to ear, but I'm a sap like that. Did you hear her say she was at a St. Patrick's Day party? She is at least a candidate for being "the mother", dontcha think? I haven't seen the ratings yet, so I don't know if all of the Britney press had an impact on the numbers, but my fingers are crossed. I'm going to be furious if CBS cancels this show!

Three Very Different Comedies

2008-03-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

I actually got to watch some fresh, new sitcoms this week. I wish I could say all three were insanely funny, but that distinction is reserved for just one, Miss Guided.

Judy Greer stars as Becky Freely, a once mousy student who returns to her old high school to be a guidance counselor. She has settled in and even has a good friend/potential love interest in Tim O'Malley, the shop teacher who's been forced to teach Spanish, which he doesn't speak, creating a few funny subplots. Then, the former head cheerleader, Lisa Germain (played by Brooke Burns, most famous to me for things like dating Bruce Willis, having a baby with Julian McMahon and breaking her neck in a diving accident, but who also acts) returns as an English teacher and sudden rival for Tim's attention. This makes Becky, who's still a little ditsy and living with her mom, feel like she's back in high school all over again.

Chris Parnell, aka Dr. Leo Spaceman from 30 Rock, co-stars as the Vice Principal, Bruce, and he's spot-on; perfect in small doses. The cast is stellar across the board, and the show hit all the right notes in each of the three episodes that aired. I was interested in these people from the get-go and, although there are some silly set-ups, the situations as a whole are believable. Unfortunately, the ratings have not been very good and ABC is choosing to double-pump the show on Thursday nights, an obvious move to burn off what they bought. Well, you never know, right?

Week 2 of The Return of Jezebel James was slightly better, but still feeling super-contrived. I was happy to find out that Coco's real name is Caroline, though. Turns out she doesn't like needles, which is going to make pregnancy that much more fun. It just seems like ASP did not flesh there characters out as much as she should have. We have no real idea what drives them, besides the fact that Sarah seems to be a little OCD. I keep waiting for Parker Posey to ask Lauren Ambrose, "where is busy bee?!" I mean, when she's playing someone more high-strung than her Best In Show character? Oy vey.

Finally, we had the return of How I Met Your Mother, post-strike. This episode had a St. Patrick theme, but I have a feeling that it was written before the strike and adjusted accordingly. I didn't so much as chuckle at Marshall and Lily's crooked apartment and there just wasn't much new in Barney and Ted's adventure at the party. Definitely felt like a placeholder. Next we have the big Britney appearance, which is good for publicity, if nothing else. And, even when it's sub par, I do love HIMYM.

My I-Pod is a Scary Place

2008-03-18T10:06:00.000-07:00

I like to do this every once in a while--document the sequence of songs my i-pod plays on shuffle and note how it kind of relates to stuff; or not. Yeah, it's totally random, but if I can't amuse myself, then what's the point?!

Yesterday afternoon, I was listening to some old school Mariah Carey from her first CD back in 1990. I loved her then, as opposed to now, when I fast-forwarded through her SNL performances this week. My favorite song has to be "Vanishing", which was not a single, so allow me to share it with you. No one can deny this woman has, or at least had, killer pipes.

So, when I headed for the car and hit shuffle, I was thrilled to first hear one of my all-time favorite Stevie Wonder songs, "As (Always)", which was a good segue out of Mariah. When the next song was 'I Write the Songs" by Barry Manilow, I just knew I had to play my little game, because, as the title says, my i-pod is a scary place. Here's what followed:

"The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead" by XTC. Sure, that's a natural transition! A seriously great band.

"Welcome Back" by John Sebastian. Clearly, my i-pod has been watching NBC promos for the return of Thursday comedies. (And it wants to impress EJ, too.)

"I Learned From the Best" by Whitney Houston. This is a little more recent Whitney, when she was probably big into the crack, but she's still awesome when she goes to town on these power ballads.

"Little Tiny Song" by Barenaked Ladies. And it is only one minute long, thank goodness. One of the dumbest things ever on a BNL CD, and I have all but one of them.

"The River" by Garth Brooks. Now, I am not a country fan, but I love Garth Brooks. It probably has a lot to do with him being at his zenith when I was in college, which I attended in Southern Ohio, where people speak with accents as if they are in the actual south, for some reason. But Garth does transcend his genre.

"Three Hits" by Indigo Girls. Gimme a pair of birkenstocks, stat! One of the best bands ever, especially when it comes to their lyrics. Don't argue with me.

"Walking in Memphis" by Mark Cohen. I am partial to Mark because he is from Cleveland, like me, and mentions places I've been, like parks and streets, in his lyrics. My husband and I also danced to his song "True Companion" at our wedding. While I listened, I decided if given the chance, Michael Johns should totally sing this song on American Idol.

"Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Basically, another Idol-centric thought, although I hope no one attempts to sing this tonight...

"Fake Your Way to the Top" (from Dreamgirls) by Eddie Murphy. Man, was he robbed of that Oscar. The scene where he shot heroin after everyone tried to get him not to? No matter what other weird shit Eddie gets into, he acted his ass off in that movie. Period.

"Calling Baton Rouge" by Garth Brooks. Apparently, the i-pod was feeling a little bit country. Now, this tune is super twangy, but I love it. Don't ask me to explain these things. I also love that it's about the guy stopping to call a chick in Louisiana as he drives...somewhere else, probably in an eighteen wheeler. The funny part is that he needs money for the pay phone. How quickly things change.

Hope you've enjoyed this window into my warped little mind!

Monday Fun!

2008-03-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick little quiz that will brighten up your cold Monday (that, and maybe some green beer, right?)!

http://www.shegoddess.com/q/70s/index.aspx

It's an audio 70's music quiz! Thanks to my dad for sending it to me. I actually missed one (95%), for which I am ashamed, but I'd love to see how you all do. Take the quiz and post your results in the comments section!

Groovy!

My Two Cents

2008-03-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

So, I watched The Return of Jezebel James--both episodes--and was not really impressed. There's Amy Sherman-Palladino, Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose (plus Dianne Weist as their mom) but it just didn't work. But, wait! The last scene gave me a glimmer of hope and encouraged me to set the DVR for next week. Posey, who was playing so opposite type as a shrill, hyper-organized, overly-girly Sarah that she gave me whiplash, toned down that persona to finally have a normal conversation with Ambrose, playing her sister, in the last minutes of the show, and it actually made me smile.

Lauren Ambrose, who is still playing Claire Fisher at this point, doesn't have a lot do in the first two episodes, except look disheveled and hate Posey. What really bugs me is her name--Coco. This name conjures images of Irene Cara in Fame and Courtney Cox's kid (also, Cocoa Puffs, which are delicious!) but it so doesn't work for this character. I'd like them to tell me in a future outing that this is a name she made up for herself and her real name is something like, I don't know, Karen.

But, look--there's Scott Cohen, aka Max Medina, as Sarah's boyfriend! There's something here, I swear, they just haven't hit the nail on the head yet.

On the contrary, SNL was "on" once again this week! Although I could really do without that Target sketch ever again (and, is it just me, or are Jonah Hill's forearms alarmingly skinny?) I loved the inevitable Elliot Spitzer cold open, the Benihana sketch with Jonah playing a six-year-old as Catskills comedian, the Suze Orman skit (including an answer as to where she gets all her jackets!) and Kristen's awesomely spot-on impression of her, and the Digital Short in which Jonah sat Andy Samberg down to tell him that he was dating his dad, Ben Samberg (played by Jack Handey, of "Deep Thoughts" fame). That make-out session was both disturbing and hilarious. Update saw the return of "Really?! with Seth and Amy", which routinely kills me, and Tracy Morgan doing a sort of belated point-counterpoint to Tina's three-week-old "bitch is the new black" by saying "but Black is the new President!" I just feel like the show is kicking ass right now, and I hope another Christopher Walken hosting gig in a couple weeks can continue the streak. I need more cowbell!!!

See y'all over at the 'bean this week, where I will explain why I love TV, plus breakdown DWTS and Big Brother for you. Read 'em even if you don't watch. I promise you'll enjoy!

Hulu & Housecalls & Dancing, Oh My!

2008-03-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about this newly public site, Hulu.com, (full disclosure--my cousin works there) and I invite anyone who is reading this to check it out! They've got full episodes of great current shows like The Office, Family Guy and 30 Rock to name a few, as well as classic shows like Doogie Howser, Welcome Back, Kotter plus tons more...even sports and movies, old and new! It's all free to the user with minimal commericals. That's right, the site is ad-supported, so don't worry about any fees. And the quality of the video is primo. There is also a really cool feature for us blogging-type folk, where you can create your own clips to embed to your site (or even just to email to friends) by grabbing a full episode and changing the start and end times to suit your needs. No more of me attempting to transcribe the funniest scene from 30 Rock for you, I'll just embed the clip! Will it revolutionize the ever changing entertainment industry? Wait and see!

As I've shared before, I am recapping the current season of Big Brother over on spunkybean, and now that they've disbanded the couples, the game is actually ON! Now, I still don't have anyone to genuinely root for (these people all kind of suck), but it's a lot more fun all of a sudden. And, I've also rediscovered my love for Housecalls, the Big Brother talk show at cbs.com, that airs Monday thru Friday. Big Brother alums Danielle, Kaysar, Bunky and last year's winner, Evel Dick, join host Gretchen Massey each day and take calls from viewers. It's all archived here. The thing is, as much as I hated Dick by the end of last season, I love him in this capacity! It's really unnerving.

Lastly, don't forget that a new season of Dancing With the Stars is almost upon us--starting this Monday, March 17th. EJ and I will be recapping it together for spunkybean; one week I'll handle the performance episode and he'll take the results, then we'll switch it up. He's convinced I'll excel at discussing the fancy footwork of Mr. Steve "No, I didn't write the Bible" Guttenberg. I'm just trying to brush up on my dance lingo. Join us, won't you?

Rock N Roll Heaven

2008-03-03T18:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a while and I could talk about a bunch of different things, but I don't want to keep you too long. First of all, I was sad to hear Jeff Healey died today. He was the blind guitarist who had his biggest hit song in the late 80s with a tune called "Angel Eyes". He was only 41-years-old and died of cancer. Major bummer. But, on the other end of the spectrum, I may be late to the party, but I just found out about Hard Rock Park, a rock n' roll theme park set to open on June 2, 2008! Dude! I have four words for you: Led Zepplin: The Ride. Sweet! There's also a suspended roller coaster called Slippery When Wet. Bitchin'! I feel like grabbing a can of Aquanet and some ripped jeans and road trippin' down to Myrtle Beach, SC, for the grand opening, where The Eagles and The Moody Blues will do the honors.

I hope by now you've all caught the SNL version of the democratic debate, but in case you haven't, check out a clip of it here, along with the real Hillary and her doppleganger, Amy Poehler. Hilarious.

And, let the Juno backlash begin! Andy Samberg was dressed in drag, as Diablo Cody at the Oscars, during Ellen Page's monologue. I haven't been able to find it online, but it was pretty damn funny. Ellen made a solid effort, but she didn't really get a lot to do. I felt a little bad for her in the "Virginiaca" sketch, as I think it's hard to top Justin Timberlake and Scarlett Johanson's turns as the rich white stepdaughters of a large black woman.

Oh, just a couple quick thoughts on Project Runway: I was a little squicked out by Chris' use of human hair as fringe in his collection, and though I enjoyed his personality, I think Rami was the clear choice to join Christian and Jillian at Fashion Week. I'm excited to be baffled and amazed by what they all send down the runway in the finale!

It's Oscar Weekend

2008-02-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

Though I have seen a grand total of one of the Best Picture nominees, I am still rather excited for tonight's big event. It might be the live blogging, I don't know. Apparently, so is Lisa Rinna, who works the Red Carpet for E! Yesterday, perusing my latest People magazine, I was made privy to her pre-awards regimen, and it is kind of a scary comment on how obsessed one can be with one's looks. She gets Botox every three weeks, some other dermatological peel of some sort, admits to taking Dexatrim (What is this, 1987? Oh, it's the "all natural green tea formula", whatev!) and even has a hysterical picture in the mag where she's trying to look all windblown while "running" with light weights. (Not that I doubt she exercises, girlfriend is ripped.)

The day of the show, she eats a banana and Red Bull for breakfast and her lunch consists of a "half an omlette" (can't you just make a smaller omlette?) and turkey bacon. The funniest thing in this article is where she insists her lips are natural. I can't believe she thinks anyone would believe that, considering she looks like that singing Bass that was all the rage not too long ago. Up on the right is some photographic evidence to disprove her statement.

Last night was the return of Saturday Night Live after the lengthy strike-imposed hiatus. My girl Tina Fey hosted, and she did a great job, especially in the Rock of Love sketch, the commercial for Annuale (the pill that creates annual periods, and which implores you that when you do get your period you better "hold on to your f'in hat!") the game show "What's that Bitch Talkin' About?" (where the grand prize was a '92 Canary Yellow Mazda Protege) and in her guest stint on Weekend Update. She had great one-liners about Kirstie Alley swearing she's kept her weight off ("She knows we can see her, right?") and Lindsay Lohan's nude photos ("finding new and different ways to look old"). As for Hillary Clinton being perceived as a bitch, Tina may have had a point when she rebuffed that by saying, "Bitches get stuff done!"

I hope that EJ saw the Celebrity Apprentice spoof, which had mutations like Celebrity Apprentice: Special Victims Unit (with Mary Jo Buttafucco and John Mark Karr, plus his fave, Gene Simmons, as a judge in a task that required them to make a porno). Also, at the goodnights, Tina brought out Don Pardo, the longtime NBC announcer, who started at the network in 1944 and just turned 90-years-old! Honestly, he looks about 75 to me.

My very favorite part, though, was this, from Tina's monologue, where she addressed the strike (yes, I am rewound and paused the DVR multiple times to get this all down. Leave me alone.) "We were able to raise the rate of writers' compensation for ad supported electronic sell thru downloads from a flat rate of $600 for 26 weeks, per 100,000 downloads, to a percentage of .036% of a distributor's gross of any ad revenue generated by said streaming after an initial window of 17 days, starting in 3 years. So, yeah!" TV is back!

Good News

2008-02-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

I read this today at tvguide.com and just wanted to share:

Question: Just 50 days until new 30 Rock episodes! Spoilers, please! — Joel

Ausiello: Jack Donaghy's dream of creating a TV show that strands a bunch of middle-aged whores-for-hire on a deserted island is about to become a reality. Rock is casting a slew of attractive females in their late thirties to early fifties to serve as contestants on the fictitious "MILF Island". The twist? The male contestants courting the hot mamas on the show-within-a-show are described as being "of eighth-grade age." Yep, 30 Rock's back, folks. Rejoice!

I can hardly wait! And you know, we don't have too wait much longer than two days for a heapin' helpin of Tina Fey! She'll be back at the old stomping grounds, hosting SNL this weekend! Too many exclamation points? Never!

Can you believe the Oscars are this weekend? We are planning to live blog it over at spunkybean, so come check us out!

Sunday Morning Musings

2008-02-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

OK, so technically, it's Sunday afternoon, but these musings have been in my head all morning. It just took me a bit to make it to the computer.

First of all, congrats to my spunkybean colleague, EJ, on his first "blogiversary". Why doesn't Hallmark make a card for such a momentous occasion? It's nice to get something other than bills in the mail, ya know? I think I'm gonna make a call. Anyway, good job EJ! We often joke that we share a brain on all things pop culture, but one area in which he has me beat hands down is Lost. If you're like me, and often find yourself fascinated but totally confused, look no further than EJ's recaps of each episode on the 'bean. He's super-insightful and also obsessed, which only benefits his readers.

Onto Survivor, where the "Fans vs Favorites" edition recently kicked off with the first tribal council vote-off (or "quit", if you ask Probst) of Jon Dalton, whose stupid nickname I will not repeat. Good riddance. This week, more time was spent with the "Fans" as the show attempted to introduce these ten people. As usual, it's going to take a while to get really exciting. I mean, the poor girl who got kicked off, Mary, had made no impression beyond the way she filled out a bikini. But, she was apparently alligned with the guy--Mikey B (ew, stop that)--who had big plans to run the show, only to be stopped by Joel, who is very large and hulking. Meanwhile, the goofy 40-something lady who still wears pigtails and looks a little like Ruth Buzzi is still there. (I know, I know, she had an immunity idol--it's gone now, as she soon will be). Also, Ozzy, sweetie? Word of advice. If you want to keep Amanda around for some more jungle lovin', best not to try to unhinge your jaw and swallow her whole, OK? Just relax.

Celebrity Apprentice drags along as well. I was sucked in early, and thus cannot escape its grasp. This week, Omarosa came full circle and was back in megabitch mode, calling Piers Morgan nasty names, bringing up his personal life and family in the context of a game show where money is being raised for charity, all in an effort to get him fired. Can we stop indulging this woman already and banish her from TV? Also, Stephen Baldwin called upon the cutest Baldwin, Billy, to help his cause this week. (For those keeping score, Alec is by far the most awesome Baldwin, but Billy's very pretty.) I totally saw Billy having drinks at bar at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills with Chazz Palminteri last August. Of course, no one I was with knew that's who he was having drinks with. (This is why you people call me at all hours of the day and night. Because I know this stuff!) So, who's Stephen going to trot out next? His sister-in-law Chynna Phillips? Maybe she can get that big Wilson Phillips reunion together. You know you want it. If you want some more laughs, EJ has the task of recapping this as well.

American Idol is kickin' into high gear at long last, with the announcement of their Top 24 this past week. A lot of these kids sound pretty good, but there are also many we've never seen before, which drives me buggy. Don has gone into painstaking detail on all of this, and I have a feeling he may even talk to someone who made the Top 50, but got no screentime, in the very near future. It'll all be at--you guessed it--spunkybean.com!

Project Runway is wrapping up, and they eliminated Sweet P this week, which was to be expected. She was a nice lady and made some nice stuff, but doesn't have all the tools to do an entire line. I agree that Christian and Jillian do, as long as the latter gives herself enough time to complete things. And that leaves Rami and Chris to have a "Three Look-Off" for the last spot at Bryant Park. Sounds like something out of West Side Story. You know the producers were snickering when they let Rami loose in the Greek and Roman room on the Metropolitan Museum of Art to get his inspiration for the last challenge. Like he even cared about the other two rooms he had to choose from. Giving Rami to choice to drape or not to drape is like giving Amy Winehouse the choice to smoke crack or not. The answer is obvious. I still think he'll end up beating Chris for the spot.

Lastly, if you're into Big Brother at all, I'm your girl. This special winter season started out of the gate quickly with the "couples" twist, meaning that the houseguests play in teams of two, including being voted off that way. Precious few of these people are very bright or very mature (I actually watched a little of Big Brother After Dark last night, and it was one of the most vapid things I've ever seen. But I watched it for about a half hour anyway.) and the crazy factor is way high. You have at least a month until anything new comes back, so please, join me!

Runway Update

2008-02-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

We are finally getting down to the nitty gritty on Project Runway. I think I read (and must still confirm) that the finale airs on my birthday, 3/5. (When I will turn 35. Funny!) This past week, the six remaining designers had to make costumes for the WWE Divas, a challenge that was Chris' to lose. We saw more of Rami draping, and more of Ricky crying, so it was just another day in the workroom, really.

The highlight was Sweet P, Chris and Christian (who is about one hundred times more likeable when he's happy) sewing and discussing what their wrestling names (completely different from porn names, I guess) and signature move would be. Sweet P would be "Spread Eagle" and her move would be "The Thighs"; Chris would be "Wonderwoman", who would smother men with her large breasts; and Christian would be "Feroctia Coutura" and he'd spray girls in the eyes with hairspray. It was all rather cute and endearing.

Then the skanky-looking WWE Divas walked the runway, and the oddball Heatherette designers were guest judges. Christian did a getup of black leather and lace that included chaps; Jillian designed a Sporty Spice-esque electric blue deal; Ricky made an orange bathing suit; Rami did some hot pink confection that would never work in a wrestling ring; Sweet P copped out with a silver bra and short combo with a flowing robe; while Chris won the day by kickin' out a leopard print top with criss-cross straps and sequined black shorts that he said were all meant to embody a "caged animal".

And, at last, Ricky and his stupid engineer hat were gone! At this point, though I like her personally, the only one I think can't hang is Sweet P. Should be interesting to see who makes it to Bryant Park.

More thought on some of my other favorite reality shows soon. Thanks for reading!

YAHOO!

2008-02-10T19:01:00.000-08:00

Well, it would seem our long, national nightmare is nearing an end! WGA bigwigs approved of the deal worked out by the guild and the producers. Now, it's really just a matter of voters ratifying the deal with a vote on Tuesday. Showrunners are heading back to work tomorrow, so my guess is that the vote is a foregone conclusion and scribes will be back on Wednesday!

If you're interested in a show-by-show breakdown of when your faves will likely return and in what quantity, click here.

A Very Special Episode of Family Ties

2008-02-08T17:08:00.001-08:00

On Thursday, the cast of one of the greatest family sitcoms ever sat down with Matt Lauer to help their creator, Gary David Goldberg, plug his new memoir, Sit, Ubu, Sit. I have to admit, I got a little choked up at seeing Steven, Elyse, Mallory, Alex and Jennifer reunited (Skippy and Nick were missed. Little Andy? Not so much) for, according to Michael Gross, the first time in 18 years! As a longtime fan (like many of you girls, the man's face was all over my walls at one point), it's not really easy to watch Michael J. Fox battle Parkinson's Disease, but I certainly admire him. If you are interested, his book is really good.

It was interesting that at one point Matt asked if any of them thought the show could be on the air today, and no one really thought so. I've said as much myself. We've gotten to the point where broadcasters air mostly adult sitcoms, while leaving anything even remotely family-oriented to the likes of Disney and Nickelodeon, who have to make the shows so squeaky clean that they wouldn't dare deal with issues of molestation, teenage drinking or drug abuse as shows like Family Ties, Growing Pains, Facts of Life and Different Strokes did. These shows were meant to create dialogue between parents and kids about these touchy subjects, and though we may laugh now, I'm guessing they helped more that a few families talk about some tough stuff back in the day.

Anyway, they all look great, and it was nice, long interview, so I thought I'd share it here. They did another segment with Al where they took some e-mail questions, which is also on the Today site, so look for it. I'll be back with some Project Runway thoughts, among other things, soon. In the meantime...Sha-la-la-la....

Whoa, Mama

2008-02-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

It's been another strange and busy week. Sick kids, sick husband, lots of deadlines at work, snowstorms and freezing temperatures. And that lovely combination of elements brings me to my topic today. A few days ago, I had the distinct pleasure of taking my one-year-old to the pediatrician. He had just woken up in time for us to make the appointment, so I took him in his pjs. Another mother came in moments later with her little boy, also clad in a sleeper. We smiled politely.

My son was perched in my lap, not quite sure about this other kid. "How old is he?" asked the other mom. "Oh, um, about 17 months", I said, "How old is your little boy?"

"Gabey will be 27 months on Saturday!" she said. I forced a smile. Give it up woman, your kid is TWO. I had to spend another twenty minutes in the waiting room with them, and Max just watched as little Gabey played with the toys, his mother practically jumping off the bench every time he uttered a word in anything that resembled English. "Oh, Gabey, you said car! Car! Mama's so proud! Mama loves you! I love you so much!" I smiled to myself, since my 17-month-old had superior language skills to someone almost a year older. That's right, I'm raising a genius.

And then, I heard this, which I found rather disturbing, "Is that your tongue? Come here! Come here and let Mama kiss that tongue!" WHAT?! It was at that point that the nurse called us back and I thanked God.

It's Been Crazy!

2008-01-28T19:19:00.000-08:00

So sorry to any of you've who have checked the blog in the past few days for the dearth of new content. I was busy over at spunkybean, live blogging the 14th Annual SAG Awards (check out the transcript here), which was a rousing success. We're going to try it again for some other big events, so please check the site for details. I'll be sure to remind you here as well. The site is getting more traffic than ever before, and we're excited to unveil a new, more user-friendly look very soon. I promise you'll love it!

In the meantime, Project Runway plods along. Is it me, or is this season taking kind of a long time? This past week, the designers were sponsored by Levis...challenged to make an "iconic look" using only denim. Even though Christian's motorcross jean was very creative (but made only for supermodels, trust me), Rami got crazy with some zippers as seams and Sweet P made a super-slimming, patchwork denim strapless dress...annoying, possibly bi-polar Ricky won with a (snooze) boring cocktail dress. The only thing I liked about it was that he used a buttonfly up the front of the dress. And then he broke down on the runway when he won. Heidi was annoyed: "What's up with you?" I just shook my head. Oh hey--did you know Ricky designs lingerie? Me neither!

Poor Jillian, who has yet to learn a damn thing about time management, bit off way more than she could chew with an overly complicated coat design that left the judges underwhelmed. But it was humorless Victorya, whom Jillian felt was a copycat, who fell asleep at the wheel and crashed the denim truck. Her coat was probably something I could make if given a few quick pointers, and I can barely sew a button, as I may have mentioned before. She was aufed.

And my Christian love was short-lived, as it seems he annoys his fellow designers with his raging immaturity. Nevertheless, I think we'll be stuck with him until the bitter end.

The best part of the episode? Tim Gunn rocking a blue blazer and jeans. I know he plays for the other team and he's way too old for me, but what a silver fox!

Circus of the Stars Returns!

2008-01-24T10:40:00.000-08:00

Well, not really, but NBC did greenlight this piece of junk from Endemol Entertainment, the good people who bring you Deal or No Deal and Big Brother. The thing that gave me the biggest laugh in the press release was this paragraph:

"This show will draw our favorite celebrities out of their comfort zone and into a stunning and magical circus environment that allows them to showcase their unseen skills," said Plestis. "It's a fresh concept from our friends at Endemol and is unlike anything else currently in the TV landscape."

So many untruths in there. First of all, I highly doubt this show will feature very many of my favorite celebrities. Secondly, I really don't think many actors secretly practice tightrope walking or lion taming, or even driving a tiny motorcycle around in one of those metal cages. And most of all, this is anything but a "fresh concept." I happened to catch a few minutes (OK, fine, hours) of I Love the 80's 3D this past weekend, and they totally showed a whole package of Circus of the Stars clips...Brooke Shields training dogs, Slater and Zack on the trapeze and Allan Thicke being sat on by a donkey, which I didn't really think was a skill. Anyway, this ain't nothin' new, is all I'm saying. Also, "stunning and magical"? Really? Maybe if you're five.

What they really need to bring back, and do it correctly (not with stupid reality stars and eliminations), is Battle of the Network Stars. I want to see Hugh Laurie against Steve Carell and Patrick Dempsey in that kick-ass obstacle course with the tires, and I want to see it now!

And since I'm here, let me remind you to check out spunkybean for all your American Idol and Celebrity Apprentice recap needs once again. Coming soon: Lost and Big Brother, which is my assignment, God help me.

Well...that's a bummer

2008-01-22T18:29:00.000-08:00

There I was, driving home, and all set to blog about some more really crappy-sounding reality shows that are upcoming, when I get a phone call from one of the Queen's loyal subjects, Mindy, telling me that Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment. "What? You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me!" was my immediate response. And, really, I think we all know he was a fairly eccentric guy, and it surprises exactly no one that he had a substance abuse problem, but the guy was rapidly becoming a damn fine actor. He'd come quite a long way from 10 Things I Hate About You to his acclaimed and heartbreaking performance in Brokeback Mountain. As I understand it, he has at least two more films in the can, the biggest by far being The Dark Knight, wherin he dares to take on the iconic Jack Nicholson by playing a younger, creepier, eminently more psychotic version of The Joker. And from the trailer, it looks like he succeeds.

With his untimely death, the movie becomes an even bigger draw than it would have been (which was already HUGE), as well as an eerie tableau to the star's life. It will be fascinating (to me anyway) to see how this all unfolds. Is it like, Belushi, Phoenix and Farley all over again, or something else entirely?

On another movie-related note, the Oscar nominations were announced today for a show that may not necessarily go on (read my piece on award shows in danger here). I'm always behind on movies, so I can only add my joy at Juno getting nominations for Best Picture, Director, Actress and Original Screenplay. And send EJ my condolences on the fact that The Simpsons Movie got dissed in a big way. That's crap. They couldn't nominate a fourth animated feature? And I'm sorry, Ratatouille was cute, in its way, but it's never going to be OK for a kitchen to be teeming with rats, even if they've all washed their hands. A quick look at the top categories, based almost 100% on what I've read and heard, breaks down this way:

--It would seem Best Picture will come down to There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, two movies I will see when I have approximately nine hours to kill.
--Best actor has to be between two Oscar darlings: George Clooney, the matinee idol, and Daniel Day-Lewis, who is batshit crazy and scares people he works with, but is an amazing actor.
--I'd say Best Actress is sort of wide open, with an eclectic group of performances, so I will openly root for Ellen Page, which would be super cool, and Laura Linney, who always rocks. The Savages looks like a great movie.
--Best Director is often a puzzler, with some movies getting nominated for Best Picture, without the Director making the short list. This year, that movie is Atonement. The rest match up. I'll root for Jason Reitman, of course, but I'm guessing he won't get the nod.
--I'd say both supporting categories go to the old-timers, in Hal Holbrook and Ruby Dee, but really I have no idea. Did you ever think you'd see the day that Casey Affleck got an Oscar nomination? After 200 Cigarettes, I kinda figured it was over. Shows what I know.

You Gotta Go...

2008-01-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

...over to spunkybean to check out EJ's new Celebrity Apprentice recap. It's awesome as usual. Try not to drink while you're reading, as many a keyboard has been lost already. Also, as I surfed today, I was amused and heartened to see The Moldy Peaches, a band enjoying huge acclaim on the Juno soundtrack, playing the delightful "Anyone but You" on The View. The guest prior to the band? General Colin Powell. Go figure. For my recent review of the soundtrack as a whole, which is fabulous (the soundtrack I mean!), click here.

Team Mellow & Team Fierce

2008-01-20T14:35:00.000-08:00

I always say I don't really care who wins The Amazing Race, but, invariably, I find myself either pouting or jumping up and down with glee as the winning team hits the mat. Tonight, I was thrilled that TK and Rachel came away with the win. It seemed like Ron and Chris had the thing sown up, and TK looked like he was about to jump out of his skin in that last cab, but ultimately, Rachel's resolve to stay calm paid off. I really, really have to remember that and apply it to my own life. I mean, how funny was it when Chris was standing at that last roadblock, mumbling, "The freakin' chicken was in freakin' Burkina Faso, then the freakin' Netherlands..." It was the most animated that girl was on the whole race.

I will begrudgingly give her dad kudos for his improved behavior toward his daughter, but on the mat did he actually say that "for once, I finally mean it when I say I love you"? I mean, I didn't rewind the DVR, so maybe I'm misquoting, but that's just piss poor, even if my quote is just a little right. Gee thanks, DAD. This poor girl has clearly struggled for this man's approval quite literally her entire life, and that's just crazy. Good luck to them.

And Nick and Don? Well, once they started out the leg by leaving the bag of supplies at the store, I had a feeling they were doomed. I had to chuckle though, every time they'd get to another destination and Don would bellow, "Come on, Nick!", as he was so clearly exasperated with his grandson for misreading the clue. And he didn't mince words, as is the usual with my little Rudy 2.0. I believe he's what they called "colorful" back in the day. They finished a distant third, but they were proud just to complete the race, and I can't say I blame them.

And, then there was my favorite part of each Race finale...all the other teams, many long since forgotten by yours truly, standing at the finish line to welcome the winners and runners-up. Hi, annoying best friends out first! Howdy, lesbian ministers! What's up, Azaria and Hendekea, hope you're not still bitter! Oh, and there's Kent and Vixen, she with her long pink hair blowing in the Alaskan breeze, while he practices his fey little waving and clapping from side to side as TK and Rachel arrive. Oh, Vixen, wake up and smell the pancake makeup already!

OK, fine, Project Runway, ya got me. I don't completely hate Christian anymore. He's annoying and has a massive sense of entitlement, but he is, after all, 21-years-old. Bottom line, the kid has some talent and is very proficient at both design and garment construction. It would seem a foregone conclusion that he and his "ferosh" (short for "ferocious") persona will be showing at Bryant Park.

This was a stressful episode of PR, as the eight remaining designers would have to team up once again, this time to design an avant garde piece based on the outrageous hairstyles the models displayed at the start of the challenge.

We saw a pretty big diva come out in Rami, as he was just crappy to his teammate Sweet P. It was to the point where she reported that he was "letting her do" the second half of the challenge, which was to design a ready-to-wear counterpart to their original concept. Thanks, King Rami. In the end, she got her revenge...her piece, a gunmetal gray, off-the-shoulder dress, was much more warmly received by the judges than Rami's umpteenth exercise in draping.

Kit & Ricky designed a hoop skirt with an apron...which kind of looked like something Sofia Coppola turned down for Marie Antoinette. And the ready-to-wear dress that Ricky made was super-cheap looking.

The there was Team Stressball, aka Jillian and Victorya. These two women are both such perfectionists, it's painful to watch them race to meet a deadline. They pulled off a dazzling look, which consisted of a stunning trenchcoat with a ruffled bottom half, over a gorgeous blouse and pant combo. They also made a bit of a throwaway ready-to-wear dress, but it at least coordinated with the avant garde look, unlike the two bottom teams.

But you had to hand it to Chris & Christian, who designed a humdinger of a silk organza gown, which can only be compared to a layer cake. It was complemented by the ready-to-wear outfit, which was a ruffled, sleeveless blouse and pencil skirt. They really won by a mile.

Even though the judges seemed disappointed in Rami, they allowed Ricky, who has never wowed them, skate through AGAIN, while Kit got tossed for her design coupled with bad direction as team leader. And just when I was getting to really like her, too. Well, in the words of Tim Gunn, carry on!

Idol is Back!

2008-01-16T06:58:00.000-08:00

It's here, it's here! The show that will save American television from ruin! Yes, folks, that guiltiest of pleasures, American Idol, returned to our parched and dusty airwaves last night with a whole new season. I already feel like there's something brighter and shinier about the show. Maybe it was the way Simon was genuinely nice to that overweight girl who plays football and has a sick mother? Maybe it was the way they actually showed more than one contestant make it through to Hollywood? Oh I know--it was the way in which Paula seemed lucid for most of the 2-hour premiere. Whatever it was, Don's got it all covered, and then some, over at spunkybean! Check it out! (you also have to read EJ's Celebrity Apprentice wrap up. Bring a lunch, read 'em both; they're that good.)

And since I'm way late on The Amazing Race, let me just say that I am over the moon that Nate and Butt-Chin were eliminated, on her birthday, and, it would appear, as a direct result of their bickering and her fuming over TK and Rachel. If she would have just focused on herself, my guess is they would have lived to race another day. As it is, I will be happy for anyone who wins this. Yes, even Ron, who seems to have been learning an ongoing lesson and truly strengthening his relationship with his daughter during the race. I guess we'll see on Sunday. The big question now is, when does the next Race start?

It's All Happening...

2008-01-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

I don't like to brag, but I'm kind of an entertainment insider. Being the media bigwig that I am, I get press releases and newsletters on a regular basis alerting me to what's new and hot in the biz. I hope none of you are too jealous. I can assure you that there's no reason to be. Especially when the press releases consist of information on the brand-new reality shows about to hit the airwaves, which confirm that there is a bottom of the barrel, and we've likely begun to scrape it:

SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS, a bi-weekly celebrity talent show, will uncover some of the most fascinating and unique secret talents of your favorite film and television stars, whether it be singing, dancing, magic or even acrobatics. Celebrities will compete in a tournament-structured format to determine who has the best hidden talent. Each performance will include a lineup of professional judges to provide their point-of-view, but it's the viewers who get to vote for which celebrity impressed them the most. In the results show, viewers' votes determine which celebrity gets to keep showing off their talent and who must go home.

So, "All Star Gong Show" was taken? Also, note that it was not indicated if the "stars" being featured on the show are in any current movies or TV shows. Somehow I think that will be relevant.

GAME SHOW IN MY HEAD, a new half-hour series from executive producer Ashton Kutcher ("Punk'd," "Beauty and the Geek,"), is a hidden camera game show in which contestants wear an earpiece as they go about their life in the city. As instructed by the host back in the studio, if the contestants can perform crazy, outrageous and oftentimes embarrassing tasks in public, they can go home with big money. However, if they fail to perform one task, they'll lose all the money they earned thus far and go home empty-handed. It's all about how far the contestants are willing to go to win GAME SHOW IN MY HEAD.

So, the schtick of every second morning dj in America is now going to run on network TV? Great. That Kutcher is one lucky S.O.B., isn't he?

AMERICA'S TOP DOG (working title) is a new one hour-long series where "man’s best friend" can help its owner win big money! Owners and their pets—from "pageant dogs" to those dogs simply trained at home—will live together and battle it out in a dog competition that puts the dog’s relationship with the person who has raised and trained it to the test. In the end, only one team of loving owner and faithful dog will emerge the winner in this dog-eat-dog competition!

I'm sorry, "pageant dogs"? Like Jon Benet? And they're going to live together? Like the first couple seasons of Idol? Well, if Christopher Guest was involved, I might be excited, but since he's not, I'm just a wee bit horrified.

Those are all going to run on CBS. This last one will be on a network I didn't even know existed, which is saying alot, because I know everything:

Brady Bunch matriarch Florence Henderson has landed a new gig: host of The Florence Henderson Show on cable net Retirement Living. Debuting Thursday, Jan. 17 at 3 p.m. ET, The Florence Henderson Show will take you on a historical walk down memory lane in Hollywood with guest stars like Carol Burnett, Bob Newhart, Garry Marshall, Dom DeLuise, Shelley Berman, Betty Garrett, Jason Alexander, Bob Mackie, Judge Judy and Monty Hall.

Did you notice that it's on at 3 pm? Hee. Right before the early bird special starts! Really, Jason Alexander? Since when is George Costanza in the same conversation about old age as Betty Garrett, aka Edna Babish from Laverne & Shirley. Did he blow all the Seinfeld money somehow? What the hell? I assume the show's sponsors include Metmucil and The Rascal.

Seriously, writers and producers...I'M BEGGING YOU!

"Grooming Apathy"

2008-01-13T07:02:00.000-08:00

I know I'm old, but I like watching CBS Sunday Morning with about eleven cups of coffee each week. This week, there were stories about the writers' strike and beards! I don't know about you, but I'm thinking spunkybean pretty much has its finger on the pulse.

I was surprised to learn there's a book entitled "1000 Beards" but it validated my curiosity, that's for sure. They interviewed the author, and I found myself nodding to the fact that Hollywood of course favors the more youthful look of a clean-shaven face. If a character has a beard, it generally signals that he is on his way to losing it, and Jack Nicholson in The Shining is used as an example.

It was also pointed out that beards are popular in professions that are outside of mainstream corporate jobs, such as sports and writing (don't worry; I have no intention of trying to grow one) , but are a big no-no in politics. Apparently, the last president with a beard was Harrision and the last one to even have a 'stache was Taft, in the very early 1900's.

Fascinating, huh?

50th Post!!

2008-01-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe I've hit 50 posts? Not really, since I've just taken my incessant babbling about stuff and put it into blog form. So, now, I talk too much and write too much...is this really good for anyone? No matter, you can't stop me! (bwahhahaha!)

Well, this'll be sort of a catch-all entry, as I'd like to give you (whoever the hell you are) my thoughts on Celebrity Apprentice, Project Runway and a couple other random items that have crossed my path in the last couple days.

Celebrity Apprentice--It's hard to believe that one screen can contain all the combined assiness of Gene Simmons and Donald Trump (not to mention Stephen Baldwin and Piers Morgan), but maybe it's the hi-def equipment or something. These two suck hardcore, yet they could buy and sell me several times over, which hardly seems fair. It appears that Gene is even more of a male chauvanist than The Donald, a man who once intimated on The View that his daughter was so attractive that he would date her, if only she wasn't his daughter. Gene stirred controversy this week by being quite rude to Ivanka and her giant rack when she came to check Team Hydra's progress on the Pedigree commercial task. Gene basically ignored her saying, "She'll wait", and then flat-out asking if, since she was the "female of the species" (for whom he obviously has an unhealthy level of contempt) she was going to run back to the women and share their plans. I had to side with Ivanka in being appalled. She brought it up later in the boardroom, and DT was mock-pissed at Gene for "insulting" his daughter, until Gene deigned to remove his shades and issue the most insincere apology ever. Omarosa used the whole incident to suck up to the Trumps, which surprised exactly no one. And she hit on Lennox Lewis, who's married, right in front of all the other Apprenti and several viewers. Keep it in your pants, O.

In the end, the men made a professional enough looking spot, perhaps more in spite of than due to director Stephen Baldwin's "20 years in film", while the women gave really sad, yet amazingly lame sob stories to dogs through voiceover and failed to actually use any of their celebrity on the task, again, which seems to be the overriding theme here. I also decided it's kind of hard to look at Nely Galan and her fishlips. I must admit I nodded off at some point, and missed how Nadia Comaneci managed to blow running the craft service table so badly that she got fired. Donald was disappointed that, despite all her Olympic gold (ya know, over 30 years ago) that she was unable to lead the team. Last time I checked, getting a perfect 10 on the uneven parallel bars doesn't really require you to lead anyone, per se. So, if you can depend on anything in this world, it's that the reasons that Donald Trump fires anyone on The Apprentice will continue to have nothing to do with anything relevant.

Project Runway--This week, the remaining designers were required to design a prom dress for a group of Catholic schoolgirls, who selected them based on their portfolios, rather than the other way around. Most of the designers were at least moderately horrified at having to design dresses for such a cliche event as prom (while we were treated to pictures of several of them at their proms), and at having to take orders from teenage girls to boot. None was more devastated than Christian, who, of course, hates the whole concept of prom (shocking, I know!) but also got the most outspoken model; one who literally grabbed the pencil and sketchpad from him and seemed keenly aware that she was going to be on a reality show. She also had the tackiest design in mind, and I though Christian's head might pop right off as he put together the brown and black monstrosity with a pouffy skirt, beading and lace applique.

Ultimately, the only dresses the judges really liked belonged to Sweet P, who should have won for her long, glamourous silk gown; and Victorya, who actually did win for this blue halter dress with jewels on the neckline that I wasn't really feeling. Chris did an excellent job (while also reminding the two eventual top finishers, who have been cellar dwellers often, that he actually has been auffed, so quit yer bitchin'!) as did Kit, who has definitely become one of my favorites.

I understood the criticism Rami received for creating something a little too old-looking for a teen girl, but he was immune, so why bother, really? What I didn't get was why Ricky was given a pass yet again, when he consistently scores low, in order to get rid of Kevin for his cheap-looking design this time around, when many of his past designs have been in the top tier. I felt like Kev just didn't care anymore, as evidenced by his choice not to finish the hem of the dress when he had the time to do so. I thought they should've sent Ricky packing based on his less-than-stellar body of work, which, along with his outspoken persona, is the reason they kept Christian around. I know I'm not the only one who is sick to death of watching Ricky come thisclose to slitting his wrists in every interview. Oh well, maybe next week!

In other disturbing news, I read in Media Week that A&E is renewing the "non-scripted" The Two Coreys for a second season, presumably in the summer of 2008, for 10 more painful episodes. Lord knows, back in 1986, when Haim was endearing himself to girls like myself in Lucas, you could never have convinced me that Feldman, i.e. the lesser Corey, would at least appear to be the more successful, well-adjusted Corey in the 21st century. Haim has somehow survived his history of drug and alcohol addiction (not to mention a stroke) to still be here, but he's had a once promising acting career reduced to this piece of crap "reality"show that's truly unwatchable, even to its target audience. So sad.

In case you hadn't heard, NBC is airing the last two episodes of Chuck that are in the can until the strike ends on Jan. 24, sandwiched around the aforementioned Celebrity Apprentice. I'm not sure I get why they don't run one each week for two weeks. Do they expire or something?

"I don't drink coffee, sir. I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature."

2008-01-11T10:58:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord, 30 Rock was back with its first new episode in five weeks! I have to check, but I think that may it until the strike ends (damn you, AMPTP!) Of course, it was another brilliantly created piece of comic joy.

There were three basic plots: Kenneth discovers the joys and pitfalls of coffee addiction (Don, how are you not watching this?), Liz falls madly in love with a swanky New York apartment and must impress Rory Gilmore's grandfather, and Jack and C.C. decide to throw it all away in the name of love. Oh--and actual German is spoken. Can any of this end well?

Rather than being laugh-out-loud funny from start to finish, this one was more of a slow build. Liz's trying to impress a co-op board culminated in a white-wine fueled drunk dialing session that topped the humiliation of Jon Favreau in Swingers. ("I've moved on. I've bought a whole bunch of other apartments. I bought a black apartment.") And in the process, we found out Jenna owns several pieces of real estate, which shocked me.

Jack and C.C. discovered that the exact mid-point between NYC and D.C. is a small town in the coal-mining country of Pennsylvania. Did you know that they have a park there that looks exactly like Central Park? Amazing! In the end though, when Liz accidentally sold NBC to a German TV station instead of buying the station for NBC, Jack realized he couldn't throw everything away to live in a small town where everyone called him "Pap". C.C. also missed an important vote--the Lott-Specter bill legalizing recreational whale torture passed by one stinkin' vote! So, he and C.C. decided they'd have to be together in another life, because for them it's all or nothing.

C.C: "We only know one speed, Jack. The drive, the ambition, our belief that sex is a competition."

Kenneth was seduced to the dark side of the life, and coffee had a profound effect on our little country bumpkin. Basically, he turned into a crackwhore. ("I love how it makes me feel. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!") Ashamed, he changed into his overalls and planned to hop on the Midnight Train to Georgia, for real. The guys did their best to dissauade him:

Kenneth: "I'm going back to Georgia."
Tracy: "What? No you can't leave, Ken. Who's going to help me tell white people apart?"
Dotcom: "What about our tickets to Spamalot?"
Grizz: "And who's going to be my wing man at speed dating?"

This resulted in one big, twisted, beautiful musical number that defies written description. And we got a cameo from Ms. Gladys Knight herself. Plus, did you know they change the Pips every five years, like Menudo? It's totally true!

Pimpin' the Bean

2008-01-10T13:50:00.000-08:00

I'll be back later with some more random stuff and a Project Runway breakdown, but I just wanted to quickly encourage anyone reading to, once again, click on over to spunkybean for some great new articles by...me! Well, one is by me, one is only partially by me, but either way, if you love me, you'll love these articles. 4 out of 5 dentists agree. And don't forget to leave a comment or two if the spirit moves you. If my dad can do it, so can you!

Hercules! Hercules!

2008-01-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

Use that headline to help you visualize the dorky way in which I just sat at my desk and clapped when I read the following from Mediaweek's Marc Berman:

"Remember The Mole on ABC, which featured a group of contestants competing in various physical and mental challenges for a significant cash prize against a "mole" hired by the producers to try to sabotage the efforts of the group? After two moderately rated seasons, ABC brought it back in two celebrity editions. The network has announced that The Mole will be returning sans celebrities this summer, in what it refers to as a more simplified version where people at home can play along."

You guys, I LOVED The Mole, and I know there are a few of you out there who did, too. It was a pretty sophisticated reality show (I know, that's an oxymoron). I'm not sure about this whole "simplification thing", though. I kind of enjoyed trying (in vain) to figure out all the hidden details and clues. It was a great show--before they defiled it by having Stephen Baldwin and Corbin Bersen appear in the Celeb editions. (Kathy Griffin was pretty good, though.) I am beyond psyched about this and just couldn't wait to share it with you. Now, the big question is whether or not the network could sweet talk Anderson Cooper into coming back to host. My guess is no, but, a girl can hope, can't she?

That was a Relief!

2008-01-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

Well, even though I didn't actually see it happen, and therefore don't believe it completely, I understand that my faves, TK and Rachel, were saved from certain elimination last night on The Amazing Race by the second and final non-elimination leg of the race. This almost never happens to a team I'm rooting for, so that is great news to me. Where was I, you may ask? (You probably didn't ask, but I tend to overshare). Cleaning up and comforting my one-year-old, who puked his entire dinner up in his crib. Poor little guy!

I guess having two stops from India to Japan was what really did them in, and I really hate when one slip that's non-challenge related (though you could certainly argue that getting the best flight is one more challenge on each leg) costs someone the game. Of course, I would be singing a completely different tune if this were Nate and Butt-Chin, who tried desperately to win me over with a Borat reference ("King in the castle!"), to no avail. But, alas, there they were, all happy skippy in first place...until Jen thought Nate wasn't paying enough attention to her and...BAM! Another second place finish! I hope that's their entire story arc--never finishing first, ever.

Ron and Chris did a solid job this leg, but the man shouldn't be congratulated just for not berating his daughter. It's hardly something to boast about. And Don and Nick, AKA Grandpa Crusty and his Bitch (Don's word, not mine) benefitted immensely from TK and Rachel's bad luck, which, again, since they're my other favorite, is fine with me. I assume we have one more elimination until the race for the finish line.

I was also subjected to part of American Gladiators last night, which my husband tried to convince me means he does actually like sports. Mind you, he couldn't tell you the name of a current NFL quarterback or an MLB pitcher, but he likes sports, based on his love of this show and the late, lamented Battlebots, which had remote-controlled robots "fighting" each other. Sure you do, honey. Ah, well. Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali get to read stiff scripted "banter" with the contestants and the Gladiators also have horrible dialogue to spew before (and sometimes during) an event. It's really quite painful. But, if you take that part out, it's not completely without merit. Some of these people are insanely strong and agile, which is inspiring and entertaining to see. But not in place of Heroes. That's just wrong!

I also just saw this morning that another putrid, returning reality show, which will not be screened in my house (unless the producers wish to pay me) is Search for the Next Pussycat Doll: Girlicious. Yes, you read that correctly. The show has a subtitle this time around and it's "Girlicious". Which is way too close to "Fergalicious" for my tastes. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

One more note today, which is to make sure you are checking Spunkybean often, as we are always adding great stuff to the site. This week we'll have EJ's hillarious take on Celebrity Apprentice (with, let's hope, less porn-oriented comments than on this blog) and The Don's Idol Preview, plus music and sports content if that's more your thing. Plus, get ready for my latest piece...an in-depth analysis of male celebrity hair in pop culture. There may still be a strike on, but at Spunkybean, we laugh in the face of bad TV...literally!

It was the Best of Reality, It was the Worst of Reality...

2008-01-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight was a double-header of reality shows for yours truly, as I felt compelled to check out the supremely annoying combo of Trump and Omarosa (or as Big Pussy called her, "Ponderosa") on Celebrity Apprentice as well as catch up on last night's delicious episode of Project Runway.

Let's get "Reality Star" Omarosa and that renaissance man (actor, author and entrepreneur, according to DT) Stephen Baldwin out of the way first. Even though I was familiar with a majority of these people, at least by name (EJ's got the whole list and some details here), I didn't consider many of them to be in the category of, as DT put it, "the world's most successful celebrities!" Really, Will Smith is going to be on this show? HE'S a successful celebrity. Which is why he's very, very busy and has no time to sell flippin' hot dogs on a street corner in NYC. Or should I say, stand around and pose for pictures while Gene Simmons calls his minions to bring money to him. That man terrifies me. Is that a piece on his head, or what?

Only slight less terrifying was Jenna Jameson, who showed up to support her boyfriend, Ultimate Fighter Tito Ortiz (if you say so!) I'm not saying I've ever seen her work (OK, so what if I am?) but she just looks rough these days. I'm not sure whether to applaud or scold the show for not doing a long, loving close up of Jenna deep throating a hot dog. Too obvious?

To her credit, Marilu Henner, whom I've never had a problem with even though I think she's a little ditzy, seems above all of this. Omarosa, on the other hand, is the resident pro in the format and excels at making it All About Her. I fear she may be around for a long, long time. And, as I have seen many others saying as I checked my favorite message boards before writing this, if the show continues to be straight moneymaking tasks and therefore consists of Gene Simmons making phone calls to win tasks, it will get old...wait for it...now.

Poor Tiffany the Playmate. She may get naked for a living, but she seems like a very sweet, bright girl. She was lunch for Omarosa. She got fired for "underselling", which was a stupid way of saying she should've just taken all her clothes off, since Omarosa said that's her "brand". I think this is completely ludicrous, especially considering I don't even think Nadia Comaneci was at the hot dog cart, was she? I didn't hear her speak once! I know she's short, but come on. I'll come back next week, mostly in the hopes that the Alec Baldwin appearance teased in the opening comes to fruition sooner than later.

On the other end of the spectrum, Project Runway was back with a challenge that took the designers on a field trip to the Hershey store in Times Square, a place I've actually been! It's a gaudy, commercially crass hellhole, but, hey, they have candy! And candy shaped pillows! The designers had five minutes to grab all the crap they could (it was like Supermarket Sweep!) to use as material for their design.

As they were working on their wearable confections, we were brought in on the fact that Elisa was mowed down on the streets of London by a Porsche a few years back and nearly died--well, at least she was in a coma for five days. Suddenly, she has the big sympathy edit, so I'm sure she's around for the long haul, even if she sends her model down the runway in a slip, holding a Twizzler.

Then , after a stressful design segment and some awfully extensive makeup porn in the L'Oreal Makeup Room, we got down to business. Almost everyone came up with something kinda cool and interesting, mostly using fabric from the aforementioned pillows and lotsa wrappers. Christian made a dress completely from the Reeses' inside brown wrappers, continuing to annoy me with his ego while also making me want to sprint to CVS and get a bag to devour myself. Rami used the widest variety of wrappers and other junk to make something that was impeccably constructed, fitted and detailed. I think Zac Posen has a crush...or maybe vice versa. I know I wish Zac would come on the show more and more. He's cute, funny and gives actual valuable critiques.

For once, Chris did some editing of his design and made a sharp, simple dress that impressed the judges. You could tell they had a hard time choosing between Jillian, who at one point looked doomed, and Rami, who ended up the winner. Jillian really pulled off something unique with a bustier and fluttery skirt made almost entirely out of Twizzlers. And it was scented!

Elisa, Sweet P and Victorya were all pretty much dull. Victorya apparently got by on her past work, because this one was terrible. When it was down to Sweet P and Elisa, I was sure Elisa would make it (see above) but I guess Sweet P got points for scrapping one design and coming up with a replacement in time, lame as it was. In the end, I guess Elisa was more "eccentric" than "crazy", but I still won't particularly miss her.

Holy Crap!

2008-01-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

So, I tried to stay up last night and catch as much as I could of the return of our intrepid late night talk show hosts. I managed to catch most of Dave and some of Jay, but did not hold on for Conan or Craig, which I might have to DVR tonight just out of curiosity. I have to say Dave--who, in Robin Williams best joke, did resemble General Lee with his scruffy gray beard--seemed like he was a little rusty, which surprised me. I really thought he might be a little more polished, ya know, for Dave.

Sidebar: Robin Williams was his usual ADD self at first, but really settled down (must've taken some Ritalin at the break) to discuss his USO trip, and was still funny, but so much easier to watch in that mode.

Jay, on the other hand, in the small sections I saw, seemed kind of pumped to get back at it and do his best on his own. The man does have a very long career of stand-up to back him up, so he should be able to handle this, at least to a degree. I'm starting to get the feeling his show, which was all schtick and formula before, might get better without writers. I could be wrong--it was one show--but, maybe Jay will get to show his real stuff for the first time in years. Back when I was in college (when dinosaurs roamed the earth), he actually came and did stand up for our Parents' weekend and he was damn funny! This could be interesting. Dave's got Ellen Page of Juno fame on tonight, so y'all know I'm there. I don't even know who Jay's got, but I'm just loving that this whole drama is unfolding regardless, especially since there's not much else on!

In other news--and Lord, I hope no one's eating--the new Survivor cast was announced today. I always like to check these to see if I know someone, as I figure the odds are I will someday know someone on a reality show. No such luck this time, but I'm relieved to know that no plastic surgeons are going hungry--there's once again more than enough silicone on display. And I chuckled at the sight of the 22-year-old kid from Hell, Michigan, because he looks like Andy Gibb and David Cassidy had a baby, between the hair and the swim trunks. He just needs a puka shell necklace. He's adorable!

So here's the stomach-turning part...if you watch this installment of Survivor, you're going to have to endure another round of Jon Dalton, aka Johnny Fairlplay, aka the Biggest Asshat in Recorded History. I hate this man with the fire of a thousand burning suns, though I may be understating myself slightly. He's beyond vile. I didn't watch Survivor: China, so I'm not up on those two, other than what Don has said on his blog, and he seems to love James. The rest of them, eh. (Except Ozzie. Yowza! How you doin'?) I am glad we don't have to see Steph or Bobby Jon again, because, enough already.

Thoughts?

The Love that Dare Not Speak it's Name

2008-01-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

OK, so we've now covered ad nauseum that I just love Juno and Diablo Cody, right? Right. Well, I bopped on over the this cool site today called iklipz that an old friend of mine from high school is a part of, mostly just to check out what he's working on in general. And what is front and center on the home page? This six minute interview with Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman about Juno. This is too cool, I tell ya.

EDIT: I have since found out that Diablo Cody was not wearing any panties during this interview and much creative editing was required to keep things from going all Britney-like. You can take the girl out of the strip joint, but I guess you can't take the stripper outta the girl, huh?

Please to enjoy...and rush out and see this movie ASAP. Seriously, you can thank me later.

I know who I'm cheering for!

2008-01-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

So, the most annoying couple left on The Amazing Race got booted the other night. I know, Ron and Chris are annoying and so are Nate and Jen, but I really couldn't stand Kent, of Kent and Vixen. Her, I liked, and I feel bad for her that her boyfriend is probably gay and just doesn't know it yet. These things happen. Trust me. Of course, they're all not so obvious as the two of you fighting over lip gloss, but some people have to be hit over the head, ya know? Anyhoo...

I just find TK and Rachel to be adorable and a prototype for some perfect racing couple. They are so frickin' good to each other in the midst of all this stress, it blows my mind. Nate and Jen, on the other hand, looked like they'd rather be having root canal when they said "I Love You" in the cab. I also really like Don and Nick, and I think it's because Nick reminds me of a friend from college who I became very close with and then lost touch with almost as quickly, as you sometimes do in college. He was such a genuinely good guy, and Nick seems that way as well. I was worried when he (Nick, not my old college pal) was so dehydrated, although it looks like Grandpa's having the same deal next week. It also struck me tonight that they're not terribly affectionate for a grandfather and grandson, but maybe that's me being a girl again. It could also be that Nick calls him "Don" instead of "Grandpa".

Ron and Chris are just there, and I don't know how or why. I just find myself hoping his hernia starts acting up and they get eliminated already. They're so dull, despite all the fighting. So, there are no really good villains this time, but I'm sure that's happened before. I mean, no team may ever surpass The Guidos of the inaugural race for sheer E-VIL. But, I console myself with the fact that I'm down to two teams I like and two I really don't to cross the finish line first. All in all, it's still not a bad way to spend an hour each week.

I've also spent some of my time off catching up on the old DVR. I am now officially obsessed with Mad Men and was thrilled to find out that AMC is re-running the season starting Jan 21 at midnight! Now I can see the first few episodes, which I missed and did not tape, and the third to last episode, "Indian Summer", which inexplicably, did not record, even though it's in the DVR. What's up, technology? How you gonna do me like that? I'm not sure when the DVD's out (Amazon did not have it showing anywhere), but I'll have to get that, for sure. If you have not watched the show, I must add my voice to the chorus of those singing its praises. It's fascinating, creepy, engrossing and stunning to watch. And the recreation of every single detail of the period--1960 to be exact--is unbelievable. They even shoot it in such a way that it just looks... older. I work in advertising, as most of you probably know, and when I had an office (what I like to call "The Golden Age"), I can assure you there was not a full bar in it, like all the guys have on this show. Then, again, I now work for a female boss and with almost all women, which would have made Don Draper's head explode, so there you go.

I thought I might get in a few more movies, too, but it didn't happen. I watched one mediocre year-old romcom, Music and Lyrics. It was OK, but I'm glad I didn't pay for it or anything. I did enjoy Hugh Grant's singing of cheesy pop songs (I'm a sucker for those), but never need to see his bare chest again, frankly. The fake video at the beginning and end (the second version done "Pop Up Video" style) was actually great. The movie did have one of those little devices you only see in movies, that always fascinate me, like the fact that people always come home from the grocery store with brown paper bags that must include a leafy green vegetable and a loaf of crusty french bread. This one was the always wacky 'wrap yourself up in the entire comforter when you're embarrassed after last night's ill-advised hookup'. That one always gets me. It just seems like it would be a lot easier to either find your clothes or run into the bathroom. But, I'm an old married woman, so what do I know? Clearly, I'm in need of sleep, which seems like as good a way as any to end this post!

Fake Resolutions

2008-01-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

I was trying to think of something really substantive to write to accompany this video from funnyordie.com which contains some funny "celebrity resolutions". I guess that can be my resolution...just to write more and about more stuff (that one's real). And to go to Times Square when they drop the ball next New Year's Eve, because Ryan Seacrest just kept telling me I had to get there before I die (yes, he was that dramatic about it) and I always try to do whatever Ryan tells me.

Anyway, here's the video:

Should Old Acquaintance be Forgot...

2007-12-30T19:38:00.000-08:00

Last week, someone had the fabulous idea to thank everyone important to him in a Christmas week post. I decided to steal that idea, and give it a New Year's theme. I've been trying to get this up for a few days, but--here's a newsflash--taking care of two kids is hard! I honestly don't know if I could do this 24/7. All of you stay-at-home moms have my undying admiration. Going to work is like a spa day by comparison.

To set the mood, here is one of my favorite cheesy lite rock classics, "Auld Lang Syne" by the late Dan Fogelberg, who passed away just this month. This song reminds me of being in the car with my mom as a kid, but as I've grown up, I've learned to appreciate it as a pretty awesome song, regardless of my nostalgia for the time it evokes.

I know it's not exactly hip or cool, but then neither am I...just a fountain of useless information and, sometimes, a great big sap. Hit play to have this lovely song accompany your reading of the following:

To my husband Mike. You support me in everything I do, and this has been no different. It's been a tough year for you, but the light at the end of the tunnel is very bright as we approach 2008. Thanks for listening to me talk excitedly about stuff I want to blog, ideas for the site and putting up with all my freakouts about the damn computer (among other things!) It's hard to believe we're coming up on eight years of marriage and twelve years together in April. I like to believe the even numbered years can only bring good luck and good fortune, even though I have absolutely nothing on which to base that theory. Let's just go with it. Love you, babe!

To my kids, even though neither of them can read this yet. Hannah and Max, you are the best things I've ever done with my life, and I adore you both. Even when you climb on the table or stall at bedtime.

To my parents, who are always there to listen and cheer me on. Mom, it was a difficult year, to say the least, but your positive attitude got you through again and it will do so for many years to come. You're a tough cookie, lady! I love you both!

To all of my in-laws (I have two sets!), but I must especially thank my mother-in-law Donna. She bails me out time and again when I need help with sick kids, doctor visits and moral support on anything. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

To my siblings, both by birth and by law, who are also great friends to me. I'm very lucky in that sense. I must give a special shout-out to my brother-in-law Adam, who has actually posted comments, passed along ideas and checks the blog and the Bean regularly. That's dedication!

To all of my friends, who have taken the time to read the blog and let me know when they've found something funny or have complimented my writing, especially Joan and Mindy. It really means the world to me.

To Don, who encouraged me to try this in the first place. As a result, you also had to put up with all my silly questions, so thanks for your patience. Also, thanks for your friendship, constructive criticism and collaboration. I'm looking forward to big things for The Bean in '08.

To EJ, who completes our pop culture triumverate in the blogosphere and on The Bean. I can't remember ever feeling such a kinship with someone I've never actually met, but now I know it's possible.

To the rest of the Spunkybean crew, whom I've also physically yet to meet, let's do that in '08, OK?

And finally, since this is supposed to be all about pop culture, here's a bit from one of the best movies ever, in my humble opinion; the last two minutes of When Harry Met Sally. I just love when Billy Crystal jokes about the meaning of "Auld Lang Syne". You'll have to suffer through the mushy stuff to get there, so just deal.

Happy New Year!

Back in the Race!

2007-12-23T19:52:00.000-08:00

I feel like it's been eons since the last episode of The Amazing Race, since my DVR betrayed me a couple weeks ago and Survivor pre-empted it last week. Well, tonight, my favorite competitive travelogue was back, and I was so excited! I honestly was just enjoying watching them all run around outside in shorts and t-shirts (and Rachel in her leggings, which I'm thinking could run the race themselves by now), as it is so bitterly cold and windy here. I also really want to go to Italy, so that was a bonus.

I admire the hell out of Rachel and her boyfriend, Thomas Kyle (as his mother's message on the product-placed Blackberry revealed TK's full name to be). They had setback after setback tonight and they didn't meltdown. First, she left the clue at the cafe, and they scoured the car, then turned around to go back. He never called her "stupid" or anything. Then, he had to go up in that plane three times to everyone else's once before he saw "Vinci" in the field. She never yelled "I hate you!" Then, after successfully completing what looked to be the tougher detour, they got a freaking flat tire on the way to the pitstop. Did they start sobbing, screaming or whining? No, TK changed the tire and they went back on their way, with zero drama. Can you even begin to imagine if this series of events had happened to any of the other teams left? Nate may have killed Butt-Chin Jen. Christina may have killed herself after her father belittled her to the brink of insanity. And we did get a glimpse of Vixen having a mini-breakdown and Kent sniping at her, but I can't really blame her, given the degree of lost they were for most of the leg and the fact that she said at one point she'd been up for 30 hours. I'd have driven into a ditch by that point. I had to chuckle at how rough he looked by the end of the day. Pity he had to waste all that purple lip gloss sitting in the back seat of a car. This is definitely one of those teams where I wish she could stay and he could go. He's such and annoying wuss and she seems like, under her stupid pink hair, she's a pretty cool chick.

Gotta love my boys Don and Nick, who each got a sweet "FF" tat and cruised in as Team #1. I loved Don wishing they'd gotten a head-shaving FF. Remember poor Joyce a few years back, and how kick-ass she was about losing all her hair? To be fair though, those tats were pretty small. It was like the Friends episode where Rachel and Phoebe got tattoos and Phoebe's was like, a dot, that she told everyone was the earth as seen from outer space. (Rachel: "I just got a heart. Phoebe got the whole world!")

I had a very good feeling that it was a non-elim, and I'm digging on the idea of the "speed bump" ahead for Kent and Vixen. Clearly, the producers have finally figured out the whole take all your stuff and make you beg for money thing was useless, and that's a good thing. And I think this is better than a time penalty.

To all who celebrate, have a Merry Christmas! I'm personally hoping to consume all the baked goods I missed out on at Thanksgiving.

And, even though I don't know when you're going to read this, here's a big birthday shout-out to my best friend, Mindy, who is 35 today! (And, yes, my best friend's name is really Mindy, I'm not schizophrenic. Nor are we twins. Ah, nevermind.)

A Little Slice of Heaven

2007-12-21T18:51:00.000-08:00

My office closed early today, and today was a work from home day on top of that. So, after doing some laundry, dishes, taking out the garbage and vaccuuming, I figured I'd earned some me time before picking up the kids. So, I did something I've only done twice before: I went to the movies all alone. The first time was to see American Pie 2 , which came out not long after 9/11. Remember that time when there was still nothing on TV but news and we were all losing our minds? My friends wanted to see Captain Correlli's Mandolin...I knew better, and saw AP2 alone. Then, once I had a child, and just couldn't go to the movies as much as I had before, I decided to go see Something's Gotta Give by myself on a Sunday afternoon. I remember thinking at the time that I should do it more often, but I just haven't.

Since I've been dying to see Juno, I thought what the heck. I was not disappointed. The movie was absolutely fabulous, one of the best I've seen in a while, and just what I needed after a stressful couple of weeks. The cast was uniformly fabulous and the story was entertaining, original and accompanied by some really cool music. EJ's review of the movie on spunkybean is right here. I loved the scene where Allison Janney put the snotty ultrasound tech in her place. Really, there was very little about this film I didn't love. I think Ellen Page is going to be huge. And, I think I've made it quite clear how I feel about Diablo Cody, who wrote the film.

When the movie was over, I walked out very happy and relaxed, and proceeded to sit in the most insane traffic. I mean, there's always a lot of traffic around here, but this was just silly. Luckily, I had my ipod, which on certain occasions, seems to be able to detect my mood and plays just the right mix of tunes. This is no small feat for my ipod, since it contains a pretty random compilation of music. I will now share with you the songs that came out of my ipod on shuffle from the time I got in the car until I got to daycare to pick up the kids. Please don't judge me. The songs started out super mellow, and slowly picked up the pace as I neared daycare, like the music was letting me know I only had a few more minutes of me time. I find the last song particularly prescient, as I spent the hour following pickup keeping my one year old from climbing up on the kitchen counter:

Only You by Yaz

Alison by Everything But the Girl

Handy Man by James Taylor

A by Barenaked Ladies

Shower the People by James Taylor

Reminiscing by Little River Band

Tether by Indigo Girls

All About Soul by Billy Joel

You're Crashing, But You're No Wave by Fall Out Boy

Wild Boys by Duran Duran

Millenials revisited!

2007-12-20T08:28:00.000-08:00

Back in early November, I posted my quick take on the piece 60 Minutes aired called "The Millenials" about the newest generation to enter the workforce. Now, an expanded version, in the form of a verbal sparring match between me and The Don is up for your reading pleasure at spunkybean. Y'all, I am so right on this, it's not even a contest.

My Head Might Explode!

2007-12-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

I knew this movie was coming, but now that I've seen the trailer, I don't know if I can stand all the hotness that will be on display in Leatherheads, the upcoming film about football set in (I think) the 1920's and starring my imaginary boyfriend, John Krasinski, and legendary stud George Clooney, a man I've adored since his stint on the later years of The Facts of Life. I am a little jealous that the overhyped Renee Zellweger is the object of both men's affections, however. Sure, she looks good in all those period clothes, even with that face that looks like she's always sucking on a lemon, but didn't she already hit the jackpot when she had Hugh Grant and Colin Firth fight over her in two Bridget Jones movies? Spread the wealth, Renee! Geez!

Here's the trailer. Please to enjoy...

This & That

2007-12-17T19:15:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make, and I think it may intrigue my husband and the large number of male admirers I have around the globe. I'm in love with a woman. And her name is Diablo Cody.

She is my new idol; a woman who quit her job at an ad agency, became a stripper for a year, primarily to get material, and created a blog about it. Said blog was "discovered" by some agent in L.A. and, after she realized he was for real and actually responded to his emails, led to her being the new "it" girl in screenwriting circles. I haven't even seen Juno yet, but I love it already. And, then, I open my mail today and find my new copy of Entertainment Weekly. Guess who their new columnist is? Uh-huh, it's my girl Diablo!

Then, I get to the column itself, and she is writing about her publicity tour for Juno, comparing and contrasting it to being on a rock & roll tour bus, a la one of my all-time favorite films, Almost Famous! I almost peed my pants! It's like she's talking directly to me! And she's so sharp and funny...oh, diary, I love her. And I kind of want to be her. I assume a restraining order is forthcoming.

So, due to my unrelenting work schedule and other obligations this week, I have again been remiss in posting my Project Runway thoughts. This past week's episode was notable for the loss of Jack from the competition due to a crazy staph infection that he had to treat aggressively, and the return of Chris March; sweet, lovely Chris who is so endearing personally, but designs everything as if he's working on the sequel to Priscilla: Queen of the Desert.

The challenge was to design for some "real" women (you know, the ones who don't look like clothes hangars) who'd recently lost a great deal of weight, using their favorite old outfits as the material. This added something to the challenge, in that many of the fat clothes were made in terribly cheap fabrics. Hell, Jillian didn't even use the original fabric, just some of it in the piping on her dress. She is consistently good, though. I really like her stuff.

And, to prove I'm definitely not a fashion maven, the first time I actually like one of Christian's designs is when it's deemed (horrors!) "commercial". I guess I'll never truly be hip. More's the pity. Kevin's model's love of her bustier and crop pants ensemble really sold the judges, but I suppose Christian was due for a win. I must begrudgingly admit the guy is pretty good, even though I don't always "get it".

You kind of knew Steven was doomed from the second he got the wedding gown. Not only did he have a fabric that was not very accessible, especially given time constraints, he clearly had a bit of a whack-job for a client if her favorite item of clothing to be repurposed for everyday wear was her plus-size wedding gown. I know, I sound insensitive, but that's how I feel. It seemed unlikely that Chris would be eliminated twice in a row, even though he made an outfit so costume-y that Michael Kors said it reminded him of what Shirley McClaine wore to play a "hooker with a heart of gold" (really, is there any other kind?) And, Elisa didn't really execute well as far as the overall challenge, but her piece wasn't horrible. Steve's was just badly made and boring, a deadly combination for this show.

I guess I have to watch this Clash of the Choirs thing, at least a little bit. It's not like there's anything else on this week. All I saw tonight was Patti Labelle's choir performing at the end of the first episode, and I almost converted on the spot. (Don't worry, Mom! Just kidding!) I'm guessing either Blake Shelton or Michael Bolton (and his chest hair) will be the first to go.

But, hey, looks like Jay & Conan are coming back live on January 2nd! I'm not sure whether this will be a good thing, at least as far as Jay goes. I think it's been a crazy long time since the man's worked without a script. I have a feeling Conan, however, will rise to the occasion. At least it's some kind of pop culture cannon fodder to look forward to after the New Year!

See y'all later!

Ludachristmas

2007-12-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing I want for Christmas (and I'm entitled to nothing, but whatever), it's an end to this stupid writers strike! I can't believe I'm going to have to go months without a new episode of this show.

In this episode, we're in guest star heaven, with Elaine Stritch (who just kicks all manner of ass) as Jack's mother, Colleen, and Buck Henry (who thinks Jack looks like an "Arrow Shirt model") and Anita Gillette as Liz's parents, not to mention the awesome Andy Richter as Liz's brother, Mitch, who thinks it's 1985, due to a freak accident. He even hits on Cerie by asking if she likes Wham!, since he's the "George Michael of his school." He doesn't remember poor Jenna, whom he's apparently slept with, and thinks she's a friend of his mom's. The Lemons are kind of like the Fockers in a way, all gushy and praising of their children to an absolute fault. Jack, whose family is the picture of dysfunction (when will Nathan Lane return as his brother? It'll be 2012 at this rate!), does not get it. He asks why Liz's mom referred to her as a "beautiful genius. Was she taunting you?" (Her dad calls her "Wilma Shakespeare")

Crusty Colleen (according to Jack, there are terrorist cells more nurturing than she), who managed to get to NYC by getting Jet Blue to take an Amtrak ticket, surprised Jack, who figured she was stuck in the hurricane devastating her hometown of Jupiter, FL. Evidently, he'd only invited her out of his "paralyzing Irish guilt" and at one point looks up at the destruction on the TV and mutters, "she should have been there". Ultimately, she ends up poking and prodding the Lemons until she cracks their perfect veneer and even jogging poor Mitch's memory of the ski accident that caused his little condition. It's a great scene.

The rest of the gang is wrapped up in the annual Ludachristmas party, and throwing out their corporate gifts of a Photo Scanner/Paper Shredder (do you see all the inherent problems there?). Kenneth is upset, naturally, at everyone's lack of the proper Christmas spirit, fondly recalling the holidays in his backwoods world, where they sat around a roaring fire, "waiting for the owl meat to cook", while Tracy is lamenting his newly acquired ankle bracelet that comes at quite the inopportune time (Ludachristmas, "Nude" Year's Eve and Martin Luther King Day all involve heavy alcohol consumption for Tracy Jordan...and probably for Tracy Morgan, let's be honest).

All in all, a fabulous episode of 30 Rock. And if that Disney cruise is still on for March, I'm in!

Golden Globe Reaction--TV Nominations

2007-12-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

Since I'm always way behind on my movie watching, I don't feel I can comment on those Golden Globe nominations. What I can get into are the TV nods. Let's just do this like a TV Guide "Cheers and Jeers" column, but even less organized.

Yay for Big Love getting a Best Drama nom, and for Bill Paxton getting the nod for Best Actor. Of course, I'm bummed about Ginnifer Goodwin, who plays youngest wife Margene, not getting one also, as she had the juiciest stories in the show's second season and showed the most growth and range by far.

A Jeer for leaving both Lost (I hope EJ's OK) and Heroes off the best drama short list, that's just wrong. I mean, no one expects to ever see Battlestar Gallactica or The Wire get in there, but come on. And, obviously, no one was really watching Grey's Anatomy if we're to believe the steaming pile of dung they called last season earned that nomination. Even Patrick Dempsey has basically said he thought the show starting sucking the second stupid Meredith went into Puget Sound. I'll grant you that it's rallying now, but it's been down a long time. And if you're going to single out one cast member on that show, it needs to be Chandra Wilson, not Katie Heigl. Chandra is kick-ass each and every week, while I don't know anybody who doesn't want to strangle stupid, whiny Izzie.

Three Cheers for 30 Rock, including Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey getting noms. But how on earth do you put Californication in the spot that rightfully belongs to The Office? Now, I'll admit, I've never seen the show (except for the crazy long promos they ran during Big Brother After Dark last summer), but there's been nothing I've heard to indicate it was all that great. I don't even mind Duchovny getting recognized; he's very funny, always. But taking that best show slot from the Dunder-Mifflinites is unconscionable.

I can't quibble with the lead comedy categories; at least Steve Carrell got in, and I look forward to a win, so he can give another Nancy Walls-written speech, like he did previously. That was genius.

Um, why are there SEVEN lead actress in a drama nominees? And in the name of all that is holy, why is one of them Patricia Arquette?

As most people do, I simply hate the supporting categories, which lump together both drama and comedy, as well as TV Movie and Miniseries. There's no huge name actor nominated this year to make it a lock, but it's just the dumbest thing to combine such different crafts so arbitrarily. And, I like Entourage, I like it alot, but I'm not sure Kevin Dillon is really acting all that much. At least not enough to warrant an award. And who is that ham Shatner blackmailing to get all these kudos every year? Boston Legal is another show I don't watch (I remember when it was called Ally McBeal), but I've seen enough to know that he and his toupee are not doing anything special.

A final cheer for Mad Men getting all the freshman love. I don't know how Don feels about award shows, but I would imagine he'd be psyched that the show he raved about for months is getting some major props. I've got eight episodes sitting on my DVR, ready to go.

For a complete list of the Golden Globe TV nominations (and a link to the movie nominations), click here.

TV Talk Update

2007-12-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

I know it's been almost a full week since the last Project Runway aired, but here's a brief wrap-up.

It was another one of the infamous team projects, and this was probably the most difficult challenge in the short but storied history of this show. The designers were charged with taking outdated trends, picked individually and at random, and making them into a cohesive, three-piece collection. Since there was no advance notice of how the challenge would work, it was chaos as far as the trends that got thrown together, and there was much angst in the workroom. It was interesting, because usually in a group challenge, the leader has had his or her design selected by the guest or whomever to be executed. This time, everyone's ideas were being created, but there was still a leader to blame if stuff sucked.

And suck it did! But more on that in a moment. Jillian led Kevin and Rami and, despite some hand-wringing, the trio pulled off a very cool collection inspired by overalls, 70's flare and the poodle skirt. My favorite was how they literally flipped the poodle skirt over, by using it as the neckline on two of the three looks. Very cool and unique. They won the challenge.

Coming in second was the Christian-led and self-named "Team Star" ("like celebrity!"). Hey, even though I'm liking Kit and Jack, I cannot overlook that they voluntarily worked with my nemesis Christian. They had the daunting task of creating a collection that featured pleather, the zoot suit and fringe, and damn if they didn't pull it off. It was a little safe in my estimation, but you don't have to win 'em all.

There were fireworks aplenty between Ricky and Victorya, who teamed up with Elisa to create a collection inspired by Neon, cut-outs and underwear as outerwear. Victorya is a tad bit passive-aggressive, and was blaming the way her piece was coming out on Ricky's lack of leadership, rather than the fact that she had a particularly sucky trend and the piece was just lousy. As a result, Ricky's piece was very badly made, since he couldn't spend much time on it. Of this group, and this was a shock, Elisa's was the best by a mile. I'm glad she's actually competent, but I miss the crazy!

Last and, unfortunately least, was the team of Chris, Sweet P and Steven, who had to work a collection out of a baggy sweater dress, dance wear (is that really ever out? what do the dancers wear now?) and--yikes--shoulder pads. Chris could just not make lemons out of lemonade on this one, and pretty much looked like he made a garment for either a drag queen or an NFL linebacker. It was hideous, and he lost out to Ricky, who, I'm guessing, was deemed better TV currency than our well-adjusted friend Chris.

Looking forward to Wednesday, since it looks like there's big drama afoot!

Also this week will be another episode of 30 Rock. I think we only have one or two more before they're done, and I can't believe it. I was doing OK on my Office withdrawl symptoms with 30 Rock standing by to bring the funny. Now what am I going to do? I could teach my one-year-old to say "Me Want Food", but he'll never say it like Jenna. Maybe I can teach the five-year-old the "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" dance. I don't know. Last week's episode wasn't quite the comic genius that was "Cougars", but it had some great moments with Jack and C.C. ("I like a woman with ambition. It's like a dog wearing clothes.") which culminated in him introducing his "old lady" to the brass in the NBC commissary. Tracy's subplot was funny, but it was bit too much Tracy in the end. I did like the battle between Frank and Twofer over their personas; Twofer dressed up as Frank was classic. I am banking on this week's "Ludachristmas" outing to be even better. Don't let me down, Tina!

And, just a reminder, don't forget to click on over to spunkybean for great commentaries, reviews and more pop culture fun every day! Queen out!

Happy Hannukah!

2007-12-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to wish any of you that celebrate a Happy Hannukah! The holiday, which is 8 days long, began on Dec. 4th. The length of the celebration is due to the fact that oil found in the destroyed Temple in Jerusalem should have lasted only one day but instead lasted for eight. It was a MIRACLE! And so, we Jews eat potato latkes and chocolate coins, spin the dreidel and give lots of presents. We also like to find creative ways to send Hannukah greetings via email, just like everyone does for Christmas. I spotted this one in my office, and asked my co-worker to please forward it to me so I could post it here, because it rocks! My friend Robyn (not to be confused with my sister of the same name), sent me this video from You Tube, which pretty much encapsulates the season for our people. But, it a catchy tune and the kid has some actual musical ability

The Queen Bean

2007-12-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

Well, I really never thought I'd be a Queen, but, hey, on the ol' world wide web, you can be anything you dare to dream, right? So now, in addition to this wonderful little blog, my ruminations and pithy insights on a variety of topics can be found over at spunkybean.com! We're just getting started, but EJ, Don, Ryan, Ben, Anne and myself are very excited to put our collective voice out there for all of you to hear. We hope you'll check us out every day, like you do with your other favorite sites. Maybe with your morning coffee, maybe after the kids are in bed. Either way, we're always open for business. We'll have reviews, humor pieces, recaps and more, so tell everyone you know.

And now that I'm well again (damn you, strep throat, with your 103 degree fevers!) I'll have more of my thoughts on, well, whatever I feel like, posted soon. Plus, if you like Duran Duran as much as I do, a review of their new CD, by yours truly, will be up on spunkybean in a few days. See you soon!

"It's Gonna Be Way Ghetto!"

2007-11-30T19:22:00.000-08:00

I don't know that I've ever heard the words above uttered on Project Runway before, but there they were. And our very buff friend Jack was right. This runway show was about the sloppiest this show's ever seen, at least to my very untrained eye.

The reason was that this challenge was even more difficult than making clothing for normal size people, as they had to do last season (Oh, Jeffery and Angela's mother, how I don't miss you!) This time around, in a first for the show, the designers had to make camera-ready menswear for one Tiki Barber, former New York Giants running back, current Today Show contributor, and his freakishly large neck and big butt. Exactly one person knew who Tiki was...any guesses? Of course, it was straight Kevin and his weird triangular facial hair. Seriously, he looks like Joey Fatone just ate Chris Kirkpatrick or something. What is the deal? But I digress. Steven has his "gay guys don't like football" quip all ready, "All I know is that football is the one time on TV where spandex is acceptable." (btw, my cousin told me she met him at a party, and he is just that sweet!)

Jack and his remarkable pecs seem to be helping everyone with patterns, which is evidently okay, since, aside from some random grousing about it by Rami, we don't hear anything on the subject later. He also carries Christian into the workroom twice--once in a messenger bag and once on his back. You think I'm kidding. They look like Kanga and Roo in the Hundred Acre Wood. I don't know.

About the only thing we hear from crazy Elisa this week is how shy she is around the hot male models, about which I am a little surprised. I'd think such a free-spirited person would be fine with half-naked men traipsing around the work room, but I may be projecting a bit. She tells us that her boyfriend is the "only male she chooses to touch." Whatever, crazy. This was a freebie and you missed out!

So, we're back to a bazillion outfits on the runway, and you'll all be bored, so let's just hit the highs and lows:

Kit, Kevin and Jack get cited as the best. I really liked Kit's navy fleece jacket (thanks for asking about the fabric, Michael Kors) with a khaki pant and checked shirt. The judges did too, but it was edged out for the win by Jack's dark pin-striped pant with a light colored pin-striped shirt. It was made well enough, but there were too many stripes for me. Kevin's outfit consisted of dark pants and vest with a purple shirt and coordinating pocket square and tie. When Heidi told him he was in, he totally thought he won when he'd basically come in third, which was funny. Hee!

Now, the bad this time was really bad. Like, I could have done better and I can barely sew a button. Sweet P made pants, a tie (her best piece) and a shirt that, as she put it, "looks like it was made by a kindergartener". The thing was huge and the collar was, as the kids might say, jacked-up. She was saved from certain elimination by Ricky's poorly constructed, boring black suit that was held together by safety pins and, worst of all, Carmen's disaster of a cropped (huh?) Members Only looking jacket and pants that were fit for, as Michael put it, "a Boogie Nights star". Oh, also, she ran out of time to make a shirt, so she draped fabric around her poor model's neck and tucked it into the jacket. Zoiks! I felt bad for her, actually. Ricky did save all his tears for the end of the episode, though, when he was spared at Carmen's expense. I can only hope, now that his hair twin is gone, Christian and his annoying pomposity and mad sewing skillz won't be long for this show. Aufwierdersen!

Nooooooooo!!!!!

2007-11-30T14:08:00.000-08:00

I don't think I realized how much I loved Maks until I read that he might be leaving the show! Between this news and the crappy deal offered to the WGA, I don't know if I've been this dismayed heading into a weekend in recent memory. Ah well, them's the brakes.

"Where'd you two meet, an Amber Alert?"

2007-11-30T06:13:00.000-08:00

Oh, Liz Lemon, how much more could I love you? I'm not really sure. Right off the bat she orders a meatball sub with "extra bread", and turns down offers to go out in favor of catching up on her Tivo. Sometimes I think Tina Fey really knows me.

Well, in this episode, Liz ends up dating a guy, Jamie, who is 17 years younger than her (she lies that she's 29, he that he's 25--their really 37 and 20), but so adorable that even Frank falls for him:

Frank: "I'm gay for Jamie!"
Liz: "You can't be gay for one person...unless you're a woman and you meet Ellen."

Now, Liz the "cougar" has to go out at 10 o'clock ("at night?") and Frank is buying Jamie french-cut, slim-fitting sweaters that weren't on sale or anything and making him paintings featuring rainbows, mermaid/unicorns and King Kong. I want one!

I could basically make an entire post of quotes from this episode, there were so many great ones. And I haven't even touched the Jack/Tracy plot which has Tracy coaching a little league team from Knuckle Beach, a neigborhood so tough that "orange soda is a totally acceptable substitute for breast milk!" Jack takes over to try and improve the team's performance (the kids think he's a king, btw) and subtle (well, not really) Bush bashing ensues in a way only Alec Baldwin can do it, complete with a glimpse of Jack in a General McArthur uniform.

In the end, it appears Jamie's attraction to Liz is a little, shall we say, Oedipal? Turns out Mom (whom he lives with, natch) could be Liz's double. Maybe he can take Frank up on his offer, and be "two straight guys who just wanna enjoy each others' bodies!"

Stay tuned for the Project Runway recap, coming soon!

Dancing With..Chuck!

2007-11-27T20:25:00.000-08:00

Well, another season of Dancing With the Stars has come to a close, and the winner is...Helio!

Thankfully, it came down to Mel & Maks and Helio & Julianne, or I would have had to fast forward through even more than I did to get through a bloated finale almost as overstuffed with filler as American Idol. As it was, I skipped through every retrospective, every Dance Wars pimping, Celine Dion (twice) and several of the dancers. I was glad, though, that each of the couples got a full 90 seconds to dance a routine...unless they were Wayne or Floyd, neither of whom actually danced. (Tom called it "Chatting with the Stars". Hee!) Nice to see Albert Reed again, who was ousted WAY too early (thanks again, annoying doll lady!) and Sabrina and Mark, who rocked as per usual. Oh, and Cameron took his shirt off, which I can't complain about. Mark Cuban and Jane Seymour both still annoy the crap out of me, and Wayne scares me almost as much as Marie's god awful routine last night. I'm impressed with myself though: 2 hours of programming, done in 45 minutes.

Watching how truly all of the celebs seem to enjoy each other and how much fun this always looks like it would be, my new goal in life to get just famous enough to be on Dancing With The Stars 17: Bloggers Edition. Do you think Maks would take me?

I guess we'll come back for more in February, when I fear we may have to deal with Donny in Marie's place. Unfortunately, I'm not kidding!

Before I dug into the Dancing finale, I watched Chuck, which aired arguably it's funniest, freshest episode all season. The writing was as crisp as it's ever been and the pace was perfect. There was a perfect blend of comedy and action, as we learned how Bryce was alive, and what the hell was going on. Sort of. There's still no really good reason for Bryce to have sent Chuck the interconnect, especially if his motivation for getting him kicked out of Stanford was to save him from being recruited in the first place. But, at least we now know that Bryce was trying to do the right thing once he figured out his who the Fulcrum really were and wasn't actually rogue. Too bad the scar-guy figured out Chuck was the intersect after all. It would appear that even though Bryce is now deep undercover again, we still may see him again at anytime, which is great news.

I loved how they used Black Friday as a device for moving the spy action into the Buy More, and how the "NSA Cleaners" could fix up all the damage done by the shoot-out. Loved Sarah's struggle over the two guys (I can't blame her one iota), and how it puts Chuck right back at Stanford. Loved every word Casey uttered, and especially his little chat with Awesome, who is really very funny himself ("two words: water sports"). The little c-plot with Morgan and Anna was even cute, as was the whole "Pineapple" scene where they evacuated the store. Really, this is a great show that I enjoy as much as many of my old favorites every week.

Amazing Observations

2007-11-26T10:04:00.000-08:00

Not enough exciting happened last night on The Amazing Race to recap, so I'll just share my quick observations on each duo still racing.

Azaria & Hendekia: Well, they've really done nothing to annoy me yet, and their racing so far has been of the highest quality. Plus they had some kick-ass dance moves last night.

Nate & Butt-Chin Jen: He's piped down a bit since they've moved to the front, of course. She's still annoying and you can tell the editors agree, as they made sure to point out that she's a former Clipper dancer as she proceeded to suck so bad at the dance challenge that she and Nate incurred a 10 minute penalty. Then she wanted A&H to let them have 1st place, since the sibs had already had it twice. Sorry, lady, show's called The Amazing Race. Moose out front shoulda told ya. Just be happy to be where you are and cram it. First place only truly matters at the finish line, so relax.

Ronald & Christina: This man is a complete goober, sorry. And she's not really much better. We've established that he's an a-hole, but she's a bit of a dork.

Kent & Vixen: If those are your real names. She's pretty awesome, I've decided, fake goth name aside. The roles are completely reversed on this team, even when she broke down in the cab to the pitstop. He just looked like she was radioactive when he was hugging her. What is his deal?

Don & Nick: I've finally figured out who Grandpa reminds me of...Rudy from the original Survivor! He's not quite as humorless and crusty, but he's totally Rudy 2.0. It's too bad there's no flamboyantly gay couple for him to cringe at on this edition! I guess they've just decided they can't top the perfection of Danny & Oswald and given up. This is my hope, anyway.

Jen & Shanna: I go back and forth on how I feel about them using the new U-turn last night, which required the team they selected, Lorena & Jason, to go back and do the other half of the detour that they'd passed on originally. However, I think they are certainly within their rights to have done so. After all, it is a race for a million bucks. It looks like there's some good drama with them next week, though!

Rachel & TK: I spent the whole episode marvelling at how tiny she is! She looks so waifish on TV, I can only imagine how small she actually is. I really like them so far, though. They have yet to lose their tempers with each other, which is impressive to me personally. They define chill. And, even though she got lost, she still rocked that Roadblock.

See ya, Lorena & Jason. You didn't have a shot in hell once it became clear there would be no airport bunching to decrease your two hour deficit. It wasn't the same once I found out you wouldn't let Rory sit under your tree at Yale anyway, Jason. Lorena, I'm thinking you need to drop this dude pretty quick since, if you stay with him, you will be cheated on early and often, if you haven't been already. Just sayin'.

It's good to be the King!

2007-11-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

My brother-in-law, Adam, sent me this link, and while I cannot even hope to improve upon it, I thought I would post it for you all instead of sending out more emails.

Mel Brooks is a national treasure. Carry on.

Project Runway Week 2

2007-11-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

I was trying to come up with a clever title for this post to indicate that the special celebrity guest on this episode was Sarah Jessica Parker, but this thing's super late, it's been a long weekend and I have other things to do, so there isn't one. SJP and her horse face will be joining us for the night.

Now, you might think, based on that nasty little comment, that I don't like SJP. You would be wrong--I loved her on Square Pegs, I loved her on Sex and the City and I even liked her in films like Miami Rhapsody (featuring a shirtless scene with Jeremy Piven; you can thank me later, girls) and The Family Stone. I even really dig her fashion sense (not so much Carrie Bradshaw's, but hers). It does not take away from the fact that the woman has a long face, much like Mr. Ed. She's still adorable, in her way.

Anyhoo, as you might imagine, most of the designers develop accute cases of the vapors when Ms. Thang shows up at Parsons, as most are either female or gay. (No comment from Kevin that I noted). Chris is almost as excited as Ricky, who is in tears almost immediately, and throughout most of his interviews in the episode. I suspect Ricky tears up at a good text message. He's just a trifle too sensitive. And this is from the girl who has been known to cry at dog food commercials.

This is one of the always amusing and highly stressful team challenges, so I was excited. The designers all had a dossier (it's like they're on Alias!) and 30 minutes to sketch design ideas for SJP's Bitten clothing line's Fall/Winter collection. The best part is since the mantra of this line is fashion should be afforable to everyone and thus, no piece is above $20 retail, they can spend no more than $15 in materials to produce their 2 pieces, which would not exceed $40 retail, dig? They all look horrified. I chuckle. This is primarily due to the fact that I have purchased items from this line, and a couple have certainly not been of the highest quality. I do have one skirt that will make it to next summer and I love my hooded robe...but the nightgown I bought? The strap broke for no apparent reason. Oh yeah...it's cheap.

So, all the designers get to present their ideas to SJP, and of the fourteen, she has to pick seven to be made for the runway. Then, those selected get to pick their partner in an order drawn at random. Most of the pairings were uneventful, save for two.

First, there are Steven and Marion, who are both very quiet, sweet guys. I kept thinking to myself that they are just to sweet for the dog-eat-dog world of fashion (like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous saying, "You're too sweet for rock n' roll". God, I love that movie!!). They are having both fabric issues and time issues, as far as completing the garment. More on that in a sec.

Then there are Elisa and Sweet P. You will recall that Elisa is insane. However, she is not without talent. It is her sketch that got picked of the two, and her idea is for a "polymorphic dress with a cape." Much like my new best gal Sweet P, I am not sure what polymorphic means, but I go along. I do so even when Elisa marks a spot in the fabric where she wants to cut by using spit. Yes, spit. She wants to "imbibe it with energy and essence." Oh, sweet Lord.

Oh yeah, and the hair twins, Christian and Carmen, are a team. And they're lousy with entitlement, as usual.

After getting their models thru the Tresemme hair salon, the Loreal Makeup room and using the bluefly.com accessory wall (I'm sorry, I just love how effortlessly Tim pulls off all of that product placement each week!), it's off to the runway.

Kit & Chris--They did a black top with brown knit capris. And the model has a beret on her head. Boring!

Elisa & Sweet P--The cape and blue "polymorphic" dress (which apparently means it can be worn multiple ways...wait; like Units?) are actually really cool! It's super short (very in) with bell sleeves and kind of a scarf almost wound around the neckline that's built into the dress. I know this is not proper terminology, and EJ is dissapointed. Sorry, man.

Rami & Jillian--A cinched, belted button-down top (almost like a trenchcoat) with a capri pant. Sharp.

Steve & Marion--Oh, dear. It's a sweater dress, which is totally in right now, but the fabric is, as Heidi later points out, growing as we watch. It's a dull brown color and it's got a ton of fringe along the hem with a short, rolled sleeve. It makes me want to sing "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora. The belt they've thrown around it helps only slightly.

Victorya & Kevin--It's a cool A-line dress, which is key, since this cut flatters almost every woman's figure. It also has pockets! Over the dress is a cute little plaid vest, and there's a bow tie detail on the shoulder.

Hair Twins--An aqua knit turtleneck dress that is so snug the size zero model looks pudgy. It is topped with a black and grey striped (like, racing striped) crewneck zippered jacket. Blecch!

Ricky & Jack--A red dress with a rouched scoop neck which I think is super cute.

Who gets called out? The hair twins--yay! He's amazed to find out he's one of the lowest scores. This little pissant does not take criticism well, unless that's just his schtick, which I'm not entirely sure it isn't. He knows how to get camera time. Victorya and Kevin, which SJP especially likes since it fits in with the rest of the collection-- a key point that I don't think they all really followed, despite what their sketches may have promised, Christian! Marion and Steve (still humming over here...) and Elisa and Sweet P. It comes down to Elisa's design versus Victorya's and it's close, but Vic wins, and her outfit will be sold at Steve & Barry's nationwide as part of the Bitten collection. I'm totally going to check it out this week!

It is between Marion and Christian (who, by the way, my husband totally thought was a girl when he happened to look at the show for five seconds), the designers of the two worst outifts, as to who's leaving. And again, it's between bitchy and boring, so I knew Marion was a goner immediately. Besides, Christian has a hair twin. See ya next week!

Same as it Ever Was...Parade Observations of a Mother and Daughter

2007-11-22T19:12:00.000-08:00

This afternoon, I got to observe my longest standing and most treasured Thanksgiving tradition. I watched the Macy's Parade, and my almost 5-year-old can finally enjoy it with me!

Some things really never change. Bands, cheerleaders and dance troupes are a parade mainstay because they provide wholesome, harmless entertainment for the whole family. I'm actually happy about this. It's nice to have something you know you can enjoy with your kids, especially on a holiday. I always appreciate how well-choreographed NBC's coverage is, even if the banter they force on the hosts is older than me. There were other things that don't seem to have changed either, which I understand and appreciate less, however. It's 2007, right? I didn't magically go back in time, did I? Because in today's parade I saw Menudo (which my daughter pronounced "disgusting!" and "gross!"), Up With People (really?), Sarah Brightman, Patti Labelle, The Care Bears, Scooby Doo, Kermit the Frog ("Miss Piggy's too mean to him!") and, of course, The Rockettes. I was sad that they didn't immediately precede Santa, however, because that used to totally be their gig! And, hey, guess what? Bob from Sesame Street is still alive! Awesome!

The people who are perched atop various floats and asked to "sing" their songs (or someone else's), need to really work on their lipsynching, because most of them sucked. Not surprisingly, the best ones were the two kids from High School Musical, Ashley Tisdale (Sharpay) butchered the 80's classic "Last Christmas" by Wham! My daughter liked her though, as she does not know any better yet. She was not happy with Corbin Bleu (Chad) however, as he had the nerve to grow some facial hair, which she said is "not allowed in pre school!" Uh-huh. Yeah, I know they're names...leave me alone!

As usual, there were lots of Broadway numbers, which I am a total geek about. I was into the "Young Frankenstein" number, and "Xanadu", which apparently is a spoof of the movie and not a re-creation, looks really fun. "Legally Blonde", though, looks really bad. Like, awful. Hannah was confused as to why the leads in "Mary Poppins" didn't really looks much like Julie Andrews or Dick Van Dyke, although she just kept saying, "that's not them, Mommy!" But, here's what I really want to know: who gets to sit in those grandstand seats in front of the Macy's entrance? I hope they're family members of Macy's employees, but I fear they are not.

(Sidebar: You can tell me every day for the next month that Nick Lachey is a "music superstar", Clash of the Choirs commercials, it doesn't mean I have to believe you. Ever.)

Finally, there were a couple of priceless moments that were so wrong they were right in my evil little mind. First, there was a performance by some acrobats from the Big Apple Circus; you know the kind who basically use each other to balance and do tricks. Yeah, the one totally slipped and landed right on the other guy's package. The camera cut away quickly, but we all saw it. The best jokes did not belong to Matt and Al, who tried, but to Mr. Peanut, who came along in his phallic and aptly named "Nutmobile" moments later. You can't write this stuff! And the winner of the awkward lottery? Poor Jordin Sparks, the reigning American Idol, much maligned for her weight, arriving at Herald Square atop the Pillsbury float, accompanied by the doughboy himself and an assortment of dancing pastry. Now that's just mean!!

Happy Slapsgiving Everyone!

2007-11-22T09:52:00.000-08:00

So, I'm sure you're all doing really fun family things today. We were supposed to be going to a big get-together at the grandparents with lots of kids and lots of food. But, my daughter has pneumonia, so we're eating here, just the four of us instead. Sure, we'll all pretty disappointed, but it's just a day right? And it does happen every year, so it's not so bad. We're still having pie! (mmmmm, pie...) So while both kids nap and the traditional Thanksgiving pot roast cooks in the crock pot, I have time to tell you all how great the "Slapsgiving" episode of How I Met Your Mother was on Monday!

When this ensemble is on, they are so fun to watch. The scenario here is that Marshall's slap countdown will expire at 3 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day, at which time he will be able to deliver the one slap he has left from winning his slap bet against Barney last fall. It was great watching Barney unravel from the stress of it all, and seeing Marshall delight in torturing his friend, especially when he made the string of paper turkey hands. Lily, exasperated and exhausted from hosting their first Thanksgiving as a married couple (and getting no help from anyone), became fed up with everything and, in her position as Slap Bet Commissioner, issued a moratorium on slaps for the holiday.

The tables thus turned, Barney began taunting Marshall, which, as the countdown clock ticked down to zero, caused Lily to lift the ban and Marshall, a crazed look of glee on his face, slapped Barney into next week. This was all fun to watch, and you could tell Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segal were having a ball, especially when NPH got to say things like, "I've lost 10 pounds, my suits are wearing me!" But the capper was the song, You Just Got Slapped,a piano ballad played and sung by Jason, that could easily rival his former greatest hit, "Lady L", which is from the absolute best TV show ever, Freaks & Geeks.

The B plot of Robin and Ted not being able to be alone because it's really hard to be friends with your ex (Newsflash!) was cute if totally predictable (spoiler alert: they ended up having sex). It did have another great one-liner, though. When Ted and Robin are stuck alone making the pies (mmmm, pies) since no one else shows, Robin puts in a pecan pie, but Ted points out she's allergic and questions why it's being made. Robin tries to play it off, saying she just likes to smell it, "It's like eating with your nose!" It turns out the pie is for Robin's new boyfriend, Bob, who is 41, though, in a funny sight gag, Ted pictures him as an elderly gentleman, which makes all of Bob's lines funnier. Best example? He shows up with jello shots for Thanksgiving, saying, "We gon' get silly, bitches!"

Hope you're all having a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelly Taylor has Left the Building

2007-11-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to admit that I got a little verklempt at the end of that DWTS results show. As soon as Marie was announced to be safe, I knew I'd either have to be sad for Jennie or royally pissed that either Helio or Mel had been robbed. Ultimately, I was sad because Jennie was sad, and I've got way to much love for her in reserve from the 90210 days to ever not feel attached to her. I know she's not in the same league as Helio or Mel, but she's a lot better than Marie and her schtick. Like I said earlier, there won't be room for anyone else when every damn Osmond fills that ballroom next week! Oh, and Florence Henderson, apparently. Why is she there every week? Anyone know? It really seems to me like people secretly hate Marie anyway. She's basically responsible for everyone's ousters since Sabrina, when it should have been her weeks ago. Lord, I am so bitter, and not the slightest bit country or rock n' roll at this point!

It was certainly nice to see Sabrina & Mark get to dance what should have been their freestyle, what with all the lifts and tricks, even if they were accompanied by that punk rawker Avril Lavigne (Sure, she has bleach blonde hair and a wedding ring the size of a dinner plate, but she's a rebel! See that pink streak and her Chuck Taylors? Ooooh! Edgy!) I think those crazy kids make a cute couple...and Sabrina looks like she's lost more weight since she was kicked off. God bless her, she looked great. Let's see Marie pull off a tenth of that difficulty in her routine next week. Not bloody likely!

I think I watched Michael Flatley dance, but when it comes to him, I can only think of Chandler Bing saying "His feet move as if independent from his body!" The guy's freaky talented, emphasis on the freaky part.

My personal pick to win: Mel and Maks. However, I think Julianne and Helio are the ones to beat because I think she's got just as big a following as he's amassed, if not bigger. Mel and Maks are much more polarizing figures. Either way, those freestyles should be fun to watch!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

2007-11-20T07:40:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of people like to hate on Kristin over at E!, but I read her spoiler chats every Tuesaday anyway. Today, she has actually proven quite useful, as she posted this link to an online auction at NBC. I need to buy actual clothes and presents for my kids this holiday season, but maybe I could buy Prince Gerhardt's flag, too! I can't really afford any of the Heroes stuff. Which guy out there is gonna buy his chick Claire's cheerleading uniform? I don't think I want to even imagine. I could go for Michael's Hawaiian shirt from "The Convention" on The Office, but I'd have to also have the "fun jeans" to really complete the ensemble.

Tuesday Morning TV Roundup

2007-11-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

Whew! Another great Monday night of TV is in the books. I guess we better treasure these while we've got 'em, huh? Really, there are precious few left. Again, let me re-direct you to the links to read ANFTSJ's great Heroes and DWTS observations. He's much more insightful on the former and detailed on the latter. I can only hope my witty observations are up to snuff.

Let's start with Chuck. You know Zach Levi was psyched when he read this week's script! "You want me to make out with two different hot chicks in one episode? Well, I guess..." Dude, even weirdo Morgan got some in this one. And from the cutie who was in love with Nate Corddry on Studio 60, no less. I loved how she was wearing high heels with her argyle socks at the end. She's great. You have to love any show that uses a deli sandwich as a sexual metaphor and you have to love Sarah, who dealt with Chuck's co-worker Lester's awkward pick-up attempt by essentially molesting him. Oh, by the way, Bryce is ALIVE, having been cryogenically frozen this whole time! I was looking for Walt Disney and Ted Williams (or, maybe just his head) in that chamber, too. Awesome!

Heroes was great again, giving us more answers (Bob is Elle's father, Adam killed Hiro's father, Claire hates her father--wait, no she doesn't!) while nicely moving the story along. I loved when Noah made small talk about cars with West as they were waiting at the rendezvous point for Bob & Claire. And it was an interesting little wrinkle to discover that Elle's powers may be more a result of experimentation than how she was born. That really does explain how strongly Bennett feels about keeping Claire safe. But in the end, it was Claire Bear's blood that magically regenerated him after Mohinder shot him thru the horn rims. The big question now was who made that happen. I have no clue. Do you?

DWTS is getting down to the nitty gritty, and everyone really upped their game. Even Jennie got a perfect score this week for her cha-cha! And they danced to one my fave bands, Fall Out Boy, which was fun but odd. It was no shock that both Mel B. and Helio pulled two perfect 30's out. They have the most natural talent and the hottest partners. That's a good combo.

You can't swing a dead cat around that studio without hitting an Osmond at this point. I fear that if Marie's fans put her through tonight (I, for one, am over her. Sorry.) there won't be enough seats in the ballroom. While I'm impressed with how much she's done and overcome during the season (this week, her teenage son entered rehab), I just don't want her in the final. I know I'm going to hell for trashing an Osmond, but so be it!

I promised I would check out Samantha Who?...but I didn't remember to set it on the DVR last night. Luckily, they started their season late, so there's more fresh eps left once all of these are wrapped. And I still have to watch the "Slapsgiving" episode of How I Met Your Mother. I am really looking forward to it, but a girl's gotta get her beauty sleep!

This Just In: Camel Milk is Grainy!

2007-11-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, but could anything sound more disgusting? I don't think so, and now, thanks to my new buddy TK on The Amazing Race, I know that freshly squeezed camel milk is grainy. I may never get that out of my head. What else did we learn last night? The air travel that is generally worked out in the first act of each episode is rarely important this early in the season, despite what the music cues would like you to believe, as the bunching will always come into play with this many competitors. Ditto for any big dilemma that looks to do a team in if it happens right before a commercial break. Butt-Chin Jen, as I like to call her (the one with Nate), seems rather angry at everyone, not just Nate. Lorena could just as easily be named Sybil and no one would bat an eye. Girlfriend seems a wee-bit manic, but I couldn't really blame her last night. Many of you know me and you know that if I was in a high-pressure camel milking competition (if I had a nickel...) I may just freak out in a similar manner. This is one of many reasons why I watch this show instead of even think about participating. I can only imagine what a giant spazz I would look like on TV when I flipped out about being lost or, ya know, a camle kicking my bowl of warm, grainy milk. I'm only trying to learn from others what I can do to better myself. At least her boyfriend (who, to me, looks like a cross between Mark Walhberg and Freddy Rodriguez from Six Feet Under) was supportive and didn't yell at her. Points for that, Jason.

The sisters from Miami were eliminated, and I'm pleased with that. First of all, the spazzy girl pulled it together and finished the leg, which validates us spazzes everywhere, and secondly, they were just a snooze. Sure, they were cute and athletic and had cool accents when they said Spanish words, but that was about it. Next week, it looks like we might be seeing our old friend The Yield for the first time this season. I really don't like this part of the game, because it always brings out the self-righteousness in the people who get yielded, plus it's way early in the game so no real rivalries have developed yet. I hope the previews are as misleading as they usually are. All in all, a satisfying episode of Race, except for that milk.

Whaddya Know?

2007-11-18T19:02:00.000-08:00

This would certainly fall under the "random" category as far as things I choose to blog about, but I don't care. I just wanted anyone who happens to read this to know that I have been right all of these years when I have boldly chosen (along with my darling husband) not to make my bed. I was protecting my family from the evils of dust mites. I knew being a slob would pay off somehow! Apparently, you can also stop waxing your car (I think I've done it once) and feeling guilty for not having your ventilation ducts cleaned annually. This is a good note to start the week on, dontcha think?

A Ray of Hope...

2007-11-17T08:22:00.000-08:00

Another quick bit, but one that brightened my Saturday (along with hitting my goal at Weight Watchers, go me!), the two sides involved in the current writers' strike have agreed to sit down and talk! Since this is my only hope of seeing another episode of The Office before I'm old and gray, I'm cautiously optimistic. Surely, the studios have to see that the mass exodus they'll experience if this stalemate continues much longer may be irreparable. Look how long it took baseball to restore its fan base after the '94 strike-shortened season...and many would argue they still haven't fully recovered and never will. I know a lot more people who would be affected by a prolonged strike here, from the writers and actors to the unsung crew members and, us, the fans, who will find other things to do. Many won't return, and the number will go up exponentially the longer this thing drags out. What do you think? I know, post a comment here!

Aw, yeah...

2007-11-16T07:34:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share this tidbit, for anyone who might care but hasn't heard (from Media Week):

CBS Announces Big Brother 9 Casting Call: With the writers strike continuing indefinitely, CBS will begin a three week nationwide casting call for a winter edition of reality/competition Big Brother, beginning on Saturday, Nov. 17. Applications are also being accepted online at CBS.com.

Who said I'd start reading more if the writers' strike went on too long? Not if this happens!

"Ape Attack!"

2007-11-16T05:49:00.000-08:00

I don't quite know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out with it...30 Rock was about twice as good as The Office last night. Whew, that sort of hurt to type! I have always been a staunch Office supporter, and I still say a bad episode of this show is better than any episode of, say, According to Jim or Rules of Engagement (then again, so is a root canal), but last night was just...meh.

I know it's all about the awkwardness on this show, but I just wanted to hug poor Michael, having all of his dirty laundry aired in that deposition. I mean, reading his diary was funny, but I really felt for the guy. How is he still with Jan at this point? I'm not getting it. The B story with the ping-pong? Amusing, but nothing more. Where was Creed? My new buddy Andy? Stanley? I knew we were in trouble when I wasn't familiar with the writer for this episode. Lester who? Nice try, Les. Thanks for playin'. Next time I see his name pop up, I'll brace myself like it's an episode of Gilmore Girls written by Daniel Palladino (I'm guessing there's exactly one person who will get that).

On the opposite end of the comedy spectrum, there was 30 Rock, which had the us rolling with laughter from start to finish! Let's hit a couple highlights:

--Jack wanting his hair styled like Ronald Reagan, and learning that he gets it cut every two days.
--Tracy's "Re-run" dance (which was spot-on) functioning as both sight gag and commentary on the writers' strike.
--Liz being so torn about wanting to report the questionable behavior of her Middle Eastern neighbor, only to find out he and his cousin were trying out for "The Amazing Race".
--Tracy giving Kenneth the advice to just shout for something's he's lost until it appears, then shouting "Pants!" over and over until Griz and Dot Com show up with several pair.
--The attack referenced in this post's title that was 100% visual and absolutely hillarious.
--Tracy's trip with Jack to see his new lady friend, played by Edie Falco, at Clinton's office in Harlem. First he actually gets away with saying "Tig Old Bitties" and then he talks to a pigeon. Genius!

I love this show!!!

And We're Auf! "Project Runway"

2007-11-15T18:10:00.001-08:00

So, it's back! One of the best hours of reality on the tube is here to save the TV season from ruin. First, let's meet the contestants:

Rami, 31, is a fairly successful designer, having made a dress Jessica Alba wore to the VMA's one year that, apparently, still gets publicity. If you say so, Rami. He seems pretty normal, though.

Chris, 44, is a costume designer who says he specializes in one-of-a-kind creations, and looks like a chubbier Nathan Lane to me.

Christian, 21, is a freelance designer. Look out--he droppin' names. He reminds me of somebody; I'll figure it out eventually.

Carmen, 37, is a former model, and also a freelance designer. She and Christian have the same hair. From the 80's.

Jillian, 26, is a cute girl (who may be kinda bitchy) and currently works at Ralph Lauren. I bet she totally knows Rachel Green!

Kit "Pistol", 26, is a stylist, who calls her name an alias. She also says "life is too short to wear a bad outfit". But apparently, a stupid alias is fine.

Kevin, 30, is a jeans designer who would very much like you to know is a heterosexual. In case you were wondering. I'm surprised he doesn't immediately start bench pressing something.

Jack, 38, is a very cute activewear designer. We learn nothing more.

Steve, 29, works at the Chicago Museum of Science & Industry and is adorable to me. I want to make him some cocoa.

Simone, 32, is yet another freelance designer. In other news, her eyebrows are planning to eat her face at any moment.

Elisa, 42, is an "accidental" fashion designer. Also? She's batshit crazy.

Marion, 39, is a boutique owner. And, so far, almost mute and kinda creepy to me.

Ricky, 35, is a lingerie designer and an emotional powder keg. He cries in about the first 10 seconds of being on camera.

Sweet P, 46, is--wait for it--a freelance designer and apparently acquired her stupid nickname while she was part of an all-girl motorcycle club. I wonder if they also fought crime?

Vicktorya, 34, is--I know you won't believe this--a freelance designer. She must last a while, because we learn pretty much nothing else about her.

The first challenge required the contestants to create an outfit that expressed who they were as designers. This was our first chance to glimpse the special brand of crazy that Elisa is selling. She immediately took a piece of fabric (from the $50K worth stashed in two tents in Bryant Park), laid it on the grass and began actively working to get it stained, or as she put it, "imbuing it with a natural element". Yeah, that's what my one-year-old said tonight at dinner when he rubbed mac n' cheese in his hair. We were pretty excited.

Since this is already too long, let's skip to the runway show. As usual, I am reminded that I have no idea what "fashion" is all about. I don't care; I just love how Heidi says "Nina Garcia". It sounds like she's growling. As you might expect, Elisa's dress is a nightmare, and her model almost trips and falls on the god-awful fishtail train. Chris, Kevin, Sweet P, Jillian, Marion, Carmen and Kit are all passed along without incident. I will go on record as saying I don't understand Kit's patchwork-y design that juxtaposes two totally different patterns. And Jack made a dress that is a black and white print with blue trim. He's totally the Uli of this season!

Rami and Vicktorya made the coolest, sleekest dresses, while Ricky made, basically, a shiny nightie that almost gets him booted. What we're left with is Simone's sloppy-looking, poorly made dress with a mismatched jacket, Christian's plaid suit thingy that I detest, and Elisa's mess.

Rami wins (I was so relieved!) and--here's where I get lost--the judges actually like Christian's dress, which has shoulder pads and looks like Melanie Griffith may have worn it in "Working Girl", but what do I know? He is very happy with himself. I don't like him at all. It comes down to Simone and Eliza, and, since Elisa is insane, she's the obvious choice to stay. Bye, Simone! Go to the spa and get those brows dyed and shaped, stat!

The American Dream

2007-11-15T11:44:00.000-08:00

We live in a great country, ya know? If I wasn't sure about this, it was confirmed this morning when I heard this approximately 2 minute message left on Jimmy Dean's customer complaint line recently. (Warning: there is some profanity on this that is in no way edited out if you have delicate sensibilities.) This man is extremely passionate about the portion size of his regular Jimmy Dean sausage, and he is furious that they have reduced their standard package size from 16 oz. down to 12 oz. Oh--and he is not interested in none of that there flavored sausage that is apparently for people from "The North". I just enjoyed listening to him describe the average size of a member of his five person household and explain that they eat "a couple dozen eggs" each morning with their sausage. Based on that, I'm not sure how splitting up an additional 4 oz. of sausage between these people is going to make a big impact. I'm also guessing now that this message is out there for the world to hear, a pharmaceutical company will be contacting them directly to shill for their cholesterol medication, because these people cannot be long for this world. Please to enjoy!

I Love Sally Field, and I Don't Care Who Knows It!

2007-11-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, some of my guy friends, who think I'm such a cool chick because I like sports and movies like "Knocked Up" and "Superbad" may be distressed to see the title of this post. But I am not ashamed to admit that I love Sally Field. I cry every time I watch "Steel Magnolias" at the same exact frame of the movie (you know the spot, ladies, it's right after Shelby kicks the bucket and M'Lynn has to go pick up Jack Jr. at Aunt Fern's) and continue right on sobbing through her entire speech at the cemetery ("I can run all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't!") The woman specializes in wild swings of emotion and she's been rewarded for it many times; from Sybill, to Norma Rae to her most recent award for playing the fiercely devoted mother of five, Nora Walker, on the hit ABC family drama "Brothers & Sisters". I love this show, and Sally's just one reason why.

Who knew Calista Flockhart had it in her to play anything but the walking tick in a short skirt that was Ally McBeal? She's excellent as Kitty, the one conservative in a liberal family, while her sister Sarah is played to perfection by Rachel Griffiths. Rachel played the uber-dark and disturbed Brenda on "Six Feet Under", but here she is a driven career woman and mother who is currently going through a tough divorce. When she had to pack her kids off to their dad's for two weeks recently, she broke my heart. At this point, I have to remind myself that these people are not actually related, they are that good.

And the guys are as good, if not better...well, except Balthazar Getty, as eldest brother Tommy, but I have to blame the writers more than the acting. It seems like they liked the idea of having five kids, but then they forget Tommy periodically because they only really have stories for four kids going around the writers' room. His plots are the ones you can see coming a mile away, even the current adultery plot. Dave Annable, who was so good on the very disappointing "Reunion" a couple seasons back, is great (and such a babe!) as tormented drug addict Justin, who just returned from Iraq with a busted knee. And then there's Matthew Rhys, who has done most of his work in his native Britain, as gay brother Kevin, who is always good for a great one-liner when things get too tense. Not to mention, he plays the "funny gay guy" without being a stereotype; he's a far cry from "Just Jack". And, I'd be remiss if I left off the underrated Rob Lowe as Kitty's fiance and boss, Senator Robert McCallister. He's come a long way from Billy Hicks in "St. Elmo's Fire" and dancing with Snow White at the Oscars. Basically, if you're looking for a good relationship show to curl up with on Sunday nights, this is the one. Every episode has pathos and humor mixed in with the drama. If you're a crier like me though, you might need a box of tissues with you. You have been warned. In the meantime, "drink your juice Shelby, drink your juice." (I'm going to hell for that one.)

Monday TV Madness!!

2007-11-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this without much time to spare, but I just wanted to say how excellent Monday night TV has become (until they run out of fresh eps, that is. Give the writers their 4 cents more per DVD and let's end this strike already!)

First, we have the fabulous "Heroes", which I could not recap with the excellence of either ANFTSJ or Television Without Pity, so I won't try. But, it's just great, and getting better leading up to the "fall finale".

Then, we have "Dancing With the Stars", which the aforementioned sites also cover awesomely, and is one of the most entertaining shows on TV. I love that my kids can watch it and enjoy it. Right now, I'm pulling for a big Mel B. and Helio Castroneves showdown in the finale. The third person in that race is an also-ran as far as I'm concerned. Jennie has improved a lot, but just doesn't quite have "it" and Marie, especially given all she's endured this season personally, deserves a big ol' gold star for trying, but she's just not up to the level of those around her at this point.

I don't know why more people don't watch "How I Met Your Mother", which is just a super-entertaining, if not always deep and meaninigful, traditional sitcom. I know we're all kind of over the laugh track, but it doesn't bother me much here. The acting is so winning and the ensemble so in sync, I just watch and smile.

Would you believe I have two more Monday shows still to watch in "Chuck" and "The Big Bang Theory" (which is getting better with each passing week)? Thankfully, for now, Tuesday is a dead zone for me, and I can catch up!

"Who Couldn't be Happy Growing Up in a World Without Failure?"

2007-11-12T14:14:00.001-08:00

Well, I know I could, but that doesn't make it a good parenting practice. I've just finished watching this story from last night's 60 Minutes and I seriously want to puke. There is some dude in this story who has the audacity to blame Mr. Rogers for the attitudes of today's twenty-somethings who are to henceforth be referred to as "Millenials". Whatever. I watched Mr. Rogers and I don't possess the massive sense of entitlement these little snots do. I guess I'm officially a crotchety, old broad since I want to throttle both of the young men interviewed here, one of whom says he thinks bosses should make sure to heap praise on their workers, up to and including sending their Mommies notes saying what a great job they do. Maybe they can just pin them to their shirts, pat their heads and give them warm cookies & milk (wait, that last part would be kind of cool...) Let's get this straight: praising and rewarding employees who go above and beyond is a fine thing to do. Praising and fawning over people who simply do what they are paid to do is overkill.

I just don't get this mindset. Parts of it start out OK, such as valuing family and friends above work. I get that. But the bottom line is, if you have a job and you do it wrong, you don't get to stomp your feet and throw a tantrum about it, then quit. If you do this, and it results in, as is mentioned in the piece, you having four jobs in a year, it really doesn't matter how you try and spin it, it still just looks like you can't hold a job!

I really do understand not wanting to settle and trying to pursue your dream, who wouldn't? But these kids have absolutely no sense of reality, which I personally pray comes up and just smacks them in the face. You have to see the clips posted over at my friend Don's blog on this same topic. They are sure to amuse and frighten you, as they did me.

Who can we blame for all of this? Well, their parents, of course. And the schools. These kids experienced childhoods where there were no winners or losers and I'm guessing few got to experience the agony or the ecstasy of a good game of Dodgeball. I also blame the asshats that make up "Young Hollywood". There are more young people today who are looking for the fastest, easiest way to become rich and famous than ever before. Their goal is to do as little as possible for the most money and then do nothing at all. Why? Because all you have to do flip on an episode of The Hills or Keeping Up with The Kardashians to find your role models. Or better yet, just open a magazine to see the vapid likes of Paris, Britney (oh, Britney) and Lindsey. I absolutely weep for the future.

"What Happens in Scranton, Stays in Scranton"

2007-11-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

Not that they're reading this, but just in case, thank you to all of those who posted videos to YouTube from the recent Office convention that took place in Scranton, PA, where the show is set. Those of you who know me, know that if you don't watch this show, I'll do everything in my power to convert you. I've been successful in several instances. It is one of the best shows ever, and the first for which I seriously considered attending a convention. I think if I lived closer to Scranton, I may have actually gone, even if a few of you told me that would make me a giant nerd.

And, based on some of these clips (i'm just posting one link to serve as a gateway, if you will), I was right, and it would have been, in a word, DAWESOME. Dammit! At least I can watch them.

Oh, and Ed Helms is adorable.

Wrong on So Many Levels

2007-11-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things just fall into your lap, and the jokes, as they say, write themselves. So, I was actually on the CBS website looking for something from 60 Minutes that I wanted to blog about (and will, when I have a bit more time to do it), and I stumbled on this. It is only available on the web or your mobile phone, probably with good reason. This is the last you will see about it here, because someone at CBS would have to be high as a kite to think I would pay good money for a little cartoon version of Danny Bonaduce to screech at me from my cell phone and be my "life coach". What kind of rock would you have to have been living under for the last 30+ years to take advice from this man on how to live your life? I even met him once, when he was a morning jock here in Detroit. I was almost star struck for a sec, ya know, the whole Partridge Family thing, but he's a little tiny man who has so many issues...well, let's just say it explained a lot. I definitely admire him for droppin' Johnny Fairplay, someone far more repugnant than even he is, but I still don't understand how this thing ever got a green light of any kind.

Who Am I?

2007-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

It is the evening of September 14, 1978. A five-year-old girl anxiously awaits the premiere of a new television program. She knows it’s just a contrived spin-off of "Happy Days" (by the way, show of hands if you think Chuck is in the trunk of an El Dorado somewhere in Burbank.) but she doesn’t care (about Chuck either, really) because it’s her show. It’s called "Mork and Mindy", which she takes as a shout-out despite its odd spelling (everyone knows it’s M-Y-N-D-I, geez!) Ever since that fateful night, she has tried her best to live up to her proud TV heritage. While she didn’t become an Oscar-winning recovering coke addict or marry Mark Harmon, she has forged a noble existence rooted in a love of the arts.

What is the point of this story? Well, in case you haven’t yet figured it out due to the clever third-person narration, I am that girl; once mesmerized by TV’s blue glow, now a jaded media buyer who takes great pleasure in ridiculing and overanalyzing the medium that still rules my life and pays my bills. It’s my job to know TV (and why I need a DVR that allows me to record 4 shows at once) and I want to share that knowledge with the world. Seriously, do you know many ten-year-olds that cut out the network program grid and highlight the shows they watch, then post it on a bulletin board? It’s a wonder I had any friends, really.

Sportscenter--Cleveland Rocks Edition

2007-11-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

This post is for my dad, who has always (not so) secretly dreamed of his eldest daughter being a sportscaster. I even have a degree in broadcast journalism. But, I didn't end up going that route with my career, and I think Dad's always been a little bummed about that. I think he gets a little wistful for what might have been every time he sees Bonnie Bernstein on a sideline somewhere. So, Dad, here's my little riff on what it means to be a Cleveland sports fan these days. It's as stressful as ever.

It's been another one of those years for those of us who cheer for teams from the Northcoast. We were thrilled beyond words when the Cavs made what can only be called an improbable run to the NBA Championship this spring. And, we were brought back down to earth by the ass-whupping the Spurs put on King James, Z and the gang once they got there. Of course, absolutely no one expected them to even get there, so it was really OK. That is, until LeBron decided to publicly spit in the faces of those who pay his ginormous salary and buy his merchandise by wearing his Yankees cap to the first Indians playoff game against New York in October. Even when a woman went to the stadium team shop and bought him an Indians cap to replace it with, he politely but steadfastly refused to wear it. The outcry against this traitorous act was monumental. It remains to be seen if he'll ever be forgiven. My guess is that if the Cavs once again do well this NBA season, all will be, at the very least, forgotten.

Then there are those lovable Wahoos, who gave us all quite a memorable summer of two-out hits, Cy Young-caliber pitching and big wins. We were sure someone upstairs was rooting for the Tribe when those crazy midges attacked Yankees relief pitcher Jaba Chamberlain while barely touching the brilliant Fausto Carmona. Once we dispatched the Bronx Bombers and moved onto Boston, gaining a split in Fenway and ultimately going up 3-1 in the series, the city was chomping at the bit to get back to the Fall Classic. And then, in the spirit of The Drive, The Fumble, and The Shot, a new chapter was added to the annals of Cleveland sports history: The Collapse. The Indians did exactly that as the Red Sox offense was suddenly unstoppable and our stellar pitchers could no longer throw strikes. Game 7 was even close...until third base coach Joel Skinner made the split-second decision not to send Kenny Lofton, the man with the most stolen bases in post-season history, home on a Casey Blake single. That was the nail in the coffin of the 2007 baseball season in Cleveland. The air taken completely out of the Indians' sails, The Collapse was complete, and the Fox network was thrilled, make no mistake. Rupert Murdoch himself was probably having palpatations over the paltry ratings a Cleveland/Colorado World Series would have garnered. Well, like they used to say in Boston, there's always next year!

So, now, miracle of miracles, the Browns are actually competitive in the NFL at 5-3. We suddenly have a quarterback who can throw worth a damn and some big-name, big-money receivers who are catching the ball! Alot! I would be lying if I told you I had any thoughts of the Cleveland Browns being anywhere near the caliber of the Patriots or the Colts in the AFC, but considering the depths they've plumbed of late, competitive is fine with me. Besides, the Detroit Lions are 6-2 as of this posting, and if there were to ever be a Lions/Browns Superbowl, we'd all be dead the next day, and no one wants that!

The child who knew too much

2007-11-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

So, much to my shock and dismay, there has been another flippin' toy recall. This time, it's some kind of Curious George doll I'm glad I didn't buy or receive as a gift for my children. Just the other day, there was a recall issued for a product called "Aquadots", which my 4-year-old, Hannah, had just recently given to her friend for her 5th birthday. But wait-- the recall on this toy was not because it's got lead in it. This toy apparently contains a chemical that, if ingested, could essentially work like the date rape drug. Yes, that's right, my daughter gave my best friend's daughter roofies for her birthday! Isn't that precious?

But, really, there is a silver lining to all of these recalls. I'm so proud when Hannah is able to warn her 1-year-old brother Max not to play with (read: chew on) a tub toy because it was "made in China". Just another heartwarming tale as we enter this holiday season!

It's an air-freshener...and a delicious beverage!

2007-11-09T18:01:00.000-08:00

Apparently, the fine folks at Jones Soda think we're all pretty stupid--and maybe they're right. I mean, is there really a market for a soda that tastes like a Christmas tree? I admit, I'm Jewish, so maybe there's something here that I'm just not getting. Then again, I don't see the allure of drinking something made to taste like fried potatoes either and I love a good latke as much as the next person. Jelly Doughnuts and sugar plums, maybe. But, evidently, Mariners fans enjoy soda that tastes like sweat, so I give up. This is why I drink only water and coffee.

So, you kissed Jake Ryan...now what?!?!?

2007-11-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was having a spirited debate with a friend over the movie "Some Kind of Wonderful". He said it was an example of when John Hughes really started to go south, and I got defensive--I still had misty water-colored memories of that last scene, wherein Keith gives Watts the earrings and she's crying while the awesome 80's version of "I Can't Help Falling in Love" kicks up on the soundtrack. They walk down the empty street, arm in arm, and SCENE.

This got me thinking, what do you think happened after the lights came up and those movies ended? Do you think that any of these would-be supercouples of 80's teen cinema would have lasted for five minutes after that Thompson Twins song ended? I mean, really, how many people meet THE ONE while they're still in high school? (OK, all three of you be quiet!)

So, let's take a look, shall we, at each of the seminal Hughes couples and see what might have been had there been a sequel.

Samantha Baker & Jake Ryan (Sixteen Candles): After Jake's second degree burns healed from falling face first into the lit birthday cake he leaned across to kiss Sam, the two were inseperable for the rest of the school year and summer. Then, Jake went off to the Ivy Leagues, while Sam started her junior year of high school. They tried the long distance thing for a while, but that didn't exactly work much after Jake's freshman year; you know, once he pledged a frat. So, the storybook romance ended, amidst allegations of cheating and many tears. Samantha eventually finished school and works in management at The Gap. Jake could have been on the fast track at his dad's law firm, but instead decided to build a log cabin in Wyoming, live off the land and build furniture.

Claire Standish & John Bender (The Breakfast Club): The minute he left detention that Saturday, John went to a local pawn shop and got $50 for the earring Claire gave him, and used it to buy more pot. He managed to talk her out of her cherished virginity later that night at Stubby's party (you know, he was Andy's friend whose parents were in Europe), citing it, once again, as a fabulous way to get back at her parents. He was also so smooth that he told her using a condom wouldn't work because he "couldn't feel anything". John and Claire still live in a trailer in Shermer, IL with their five delinquent children, whom John frequently burns with his cigarettes.

Andi Walsh & Blane McDonnagh (Pretty in Pink): After Andi retrieved her cute little purse from the puddle she dropped it in to kiss Blane ("That's a major appliance, that's not a name!") things went downhill quickly. You see, Andi realized that she was making out with a bug-eyed, floppy-haired tool who didn't have the balls to stand up to his parents and date someone who was--gasp!--poor. So, she went back into the prom and planted one on good old Phil "Duckie" Dale and the two made plans to move to New York after graduation. Andi now owns a successful clothing shop in Soho and Phil is an A&R rep with Sony. They have a little girl named Finola and two dogs. Blane works for his father, married some blonde with big boobs named Cookie and generally loathes himself.

Ferris Bueller & Sloane Peterson (Ferris Bueller's Day Off): Despite his legendary status in the Chicago suburbs, once Ferris got to college and was without his hot girlfriend and sidekick Cameron, he just became an average-looking smart aleck in a sweater vest. His ass-kissing schtick no longer worked on the college professors or his fellow students. And he didn't have his gullible parents to kick around either. Sloane looked in the mirror one day and realized she was way too hot for goofball Ferris and promptly moved on to the captain of the football team. He ended up playing for the New York Giants while Sloane took the New York real estate market by storm. They are happily married to this day. Ferris and Cameron attempted to parlay their fake phone calls into a comedy act, but The Jerky Boys already existed, and eventually caller ID did them in for good. The two share an apartment in L.A. and Cameron is still afraid of his father. Jeannie and the guy in the police station, on the other hand? Happily married for 15 years. She's a school psychologist and he's a drug rehab counselor.

Keith Nelson & Susan Watts (Some Kind of Wonderful): Now, see, this is the one that actually worked out! Keith went to art school (they eventually did take those earrings back so he could afford tuition) and Watts formed an all-girl band. Keith is now a renowned painter and Watts' band, Miss Amanda Jones, had three #1 singles before they broke up in 1993. She now writes poetry and is a full-time mom to their kids, Sierra and Jasper. The real Amanda Jones? Well, she ended up marrying the teacher who she sweet-talked out of making her serve her detention early in the film. They have three children.